223 (46) Endless Possibilities, Limited Vision

Hey! We're back again! and I'm SO HAPPY you're here! Seriously! This is such a fun place for me. I meant to write earlier, and even as I write to you my mind is elsewhere, everywhere, scattered, energetic and a bit manic.

My diet has really given me energy. Mountains of spinach, forests of broccoli, SO much water! (laughing) I feel clean. Part of the world again. Mindful. Still selfish, and very self-centered, but definitely part of the world.

No exercise this morning. Volleyball soon. 2s in the sand. Laura has great hands, and is a good teammate. She allows me in, but only so far. I wonder what it would be like to have a genuine conversation with her. Kim will be there tonight, too. Perhaps Jessica. Did I say I was distracted? lol.... so many possibilities, so many wonderful people around me... the spirals of our lives in synch here and there and here again. With nothing but joy in my heart as I write this, I have a very lovely life. The heart expands.

Seeing my folks tonight! Cousin is in from Georgia with his 2 boys. This'll be fun. I've feared the onset of stodginess (spelling?) and spontaneous family events remind me that I'm only as old as I feel. Today I feel 16 again! Vibrant, humming with life and vitality, goofy, silly, clumsy and young! A very lovely life indeed!

Take care! Perhaps next time I'll be more mindful in my writing. Today, this is the best I could do.

Life.... (rolling up sleeves in anticipation)... bring it on!!

Frank

p.s. Thanks for being here!

221 (44) LIFE? or Writing about life??

Good Evening!

I've missed these posts! In one way... it's as if writing on this blog has become letters to a friend. Good stuff. And why not, right? Life is good, and that's just as solid a reason to write as when there are struggles, too.

Anyways, I hope this note finds you well. It's been a busy couple of days. Ran my 2nd official run... a 5K this time, in Mt. Prospect with my coworker. Excellent time... just under 27 minutes! 2 friends ran with me, but after the first block we all split up to run at our own pace. Running is such a solitary pursuit, even when surrounded by other runners. Almost as if we're all islands, moving through oceans of time and water. Well, it was a GREAT run, and I think I'm hooked on 5Ks for a while. Next up... Chinatown 5K in July!

(laughing) after the run, I met up with other friends and we played sand volleyball for 5 and a half hours! It's very interesting how 30 minutes spent running seemed a lifetime, and half a day of volleyball just flew by. My perception of time is peculiar, but welcome. Didn't win a single game of pick-up volleyball, but I had such a fun time with my friends (and we went on to sweep 4 wins in our league games last night! Thank you, Saturday Practice)! The craziest moment was when I accidentally slipped (while chasing a wild volleyball) and took a slide through this nasty pool of fetid water. Blech! Good thing my mouth was closed. I stood, covered in muck and mud and water and worms! The water's been there a while, and I shudder to think what got on my skin that day. Double yuck! But... my friends thought I slid on purpose, so... not a total loss! I'm clumsy, but I looked good doing it. That's something, right?

Weight loss! By accident and design I took last week off from the gym. Tuesday-Friday: nothing! Just volleyball, and that's not a huge calorie burn. I felt VERY guilty, but it turned out to be a good thing. Gotta let the body heal from time to time, it's crucial. And... I ended up being fresh for the run, juiced to be back in the gym this week, and saw a GREAT number on the scale this morning: 221! C'mon, 219.... I'm so close! Tonight it's bananas, almonds and a granola bar for dinner, with water to stay hydrated. Volleyball, then gym, then back to work for a couple more things. Late night, but needed. Wish me luck. It's in the long watches of the night that I get off track in so many ways.

Today's creations make me laugh. The sketch on the papertowel I call "Sandboarding!" A friend commented that was a sport they would be doing, and the image has stuck in my head. I'd like to sharpen up this theme, and see if a cool composition is there. Doesn't that sound like fun? Sandboard! (I just learned to snowboard, must be on my mind...) The other offering is a composite I call: Tuesday Breakfast. I put myself in the photo to show you the (mental) perspective. There are days it is a MOUNTAIN of broccoli. I love it. Keeps me full, saves me on the scale and I like the taste! But it IS a mountain. (the photo is of me, post 5K on Saturday).

Alright, I need to get out of here. Volleyball in just over an hour, and it's 30 minutes to get there! Catch ya later! Off to see the Harry Potter exhibit at the museum tomorrow. Photos to come!

Thanks again! Be well, have a nice night. Summer has (at last) landed! With a humid vengance! That's alright. It's about time! :)

Frank

223.5 (46.5) A Binge and A Dive

Hello and Good Evening!

Just a minute to write. Let's see... I binged last night... Burger King (blech!) but it was SO good while I ate... all told I consumed approximately 2100 calories and approximately 100 grams of fat in 30 minutes. Sheesh! There was an emotional trigger, but I think the fact that I didn't eat much at lunch didn't help, either. More on that when I have time to sit and think longer on this.

The Dive! SUPER quick sketch, from my mind only (no photo guide) trying to capture the fun and craziness that is sand volleyball! If I'm not diving, it's not sand. Great sport, it's like being a kid again!

Alright, gotta go! Headed to Six Flags tonight with my brother. Coasters and catching up! A good night indeed!

See you soon!

Frank

222.5 (45.5) Rainy Tuesday

Another Tuesday night, rainy, but a good day. I hope this note finds you well.

I overslept this morning, missed the a.m. workout. 2 days in a row... but I did manage a 2 mile run last night after some excellent volleyball! So... I'm on the evening workouts, and I'll be back with the mornings, and soon. I was up late drawing, 12:30 in the morning, actually. My friend Nick challenged me to have 5 compositions this week, and when I'm drawing, time is forgotten. Today's posted sketches were a lot of fun, although I REALLY need to find my darker pencils.

I like the furious pose of the swimmer. I missed on the facial expression of the boy, who should be snickering. The other, a self portrait, has potential, but this is definitely a rough draft.

Volleyball in an hour. Take care! See you tomorrow! I have NO IDEA what should be drawn next... but that's part of the fun, isn't it?

Take care!

Frank

226 (49) A Full Rich Day

"Always and Never are not words for men. You'll be returning again and again."

Ningauble of the Seven Eyes or Sheelba of the Eyeless Face (Fritz Leiber's Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser)


Good Afternoon!

This is one of my favorite quotes. It applies to my weight loss efforts, most especially in the springtime afternoon of a Monday at work. So often I seem to lose ground on Mondays on the scale, weighing heavier than the previous Friday. I must be twice as vigilant on the weekends, journaling and exercising conscientously, with the knowledge that my schedule is much looser on Saturdays and Sundays, and opportunities to make poor decisions are much more frequent. Perhaps I need to create a schedule for myself, mostly so that I don't fall victim to the moment (the food in front of me, etc.).

Anyways, I hope you're well. I managed 1 sketch over the weekend ("Conjured Summer") and that was Friday evening! I have ideas for 5 more renderings, and will be working on them shortly. It was a full, rich weekend, but I neglected to make time for drawing. I guess I'm easing back into it slower than I thought. Perhaps I'll draw this afternoon and add a quick sketch to this post in a few hours. It's become a nice addition to my maunderings.

So, tonight will be fun! I'll go for a quick sprint after work (1 mile), followed by sand volleyball (4s). Can't wait! The work day is busy but it's slow at the moment. I need to bring water, Gatorade and snacks to the match tonight (especially SCOOBY SNACKS) as we're trying to build a sense of camaraderie and fun. Do Fruit Roll-Ups build strong relationships? lol... guess I'll find out!

Take care! Talk to you soon!

Oh yes... I chose to sleep in this morning instead of work out. I will be consistent on morning workouts for the rest of this week! It's summer, not summer vacation!

Frank

Composition Forming

Hello again!

My 4B pencils are at home. I'll track them down this weekend, but in the meantime I'll continue to count on Photoshop levels.

...sketchy to faces to stills to an actual composition...

Hmmm... I have 14 more pages to fill by Sunday night.

What is on my mind?

Apparently, pineapples. Yesterday's pineapple conjured summer. Blue skies today. Imagine that.

Turning it over in my head....

Take care! Talk to you soon,

Frank

222.5 (45.5) Sunny Day, Spirits High, Pineapple Tasty

Hey hey! Good morning!

222.5 this morning! After 2 mornings of no time in the gym! lol... I took some well-deserved ribbing from my friends Richard and Mitch on the ellipticals, and then it was the usual routine. I was more energized this morning (fueled, no doubt, by the tasty burger last night!), and it was a smooth, very welcome workout (albeit a quick one). Weights tonight after work, and then the weekend can start in style!

So... PINEAPPLES! I have been LOVING pineapples this week! Yum! On sale, they smell great, they conjure Hawaiian daydreams and they're just so EXOTIC! Alright, I may have a bit of a crush on pineapples right now. I admit it. Oh well... curse me for a fool and we can laugh all the same.

The weekend is here! ...nearly here. My coworker made for a good sketch model yesterday... I may bring the book into the lunchroom again today. I have my 2H pencil at hand, and a GOOD ERASER (Staedtler Mars) this time.... so no smudges. As much as I love to texture sketches ("overdraw" a piece), I think my best doodles are the ones with the least lines and the most energy, you know? Interpretation, not duplication!

Alright! My spirits are high. There's a certain... Je ne sais quoi... in the air. Thank goodness we have the ability to hope.

Take care! Have a great weekend!

Frank

224.5 (47.5) Day 2 is the Toughest

Hi there!

2:45 and another fast day! My grand plans for a significant composition are still rolling along, but I'm a much slower artist than I remember. Ahh well. It's the journey wherein lies the value...

Lunchroom sketches. Coworkers! John has such interesting hair, I couldn't resist.

I'll finish a sketch of a pineapple shortly.

I overslept (family party last night) and missed 2 morning workouts in a row. I'll be hitting it hard in the gym tonight. Treadmill, Beware!

Take care! Gotta dash! Thanks!

Frank

(225.5) (223) (224.5) Sketching again

Good morning! I'm sketching again! And we're busy at work. Weight has "stabilized" around 224 and the daily workouts are very welcome. I still love raw broccoli and spinach in the morning, and I've made strides to improve on the late evening foraging (feeling about 85% successful).

I've started wearing a heart rate monitor to keep an eye on the estimated daily caloric burn. VERY interesting. Lesson: EXERCISE! It rips the calories off you (i.e. 5100 calorie burn Monday, 3100 yesterday, and today, only 646 in the last 5 hours). My BMR appears to be around 2800 (crazy!), so I've got a really solid opportunity to watch my intake and up the output for some serious weight loss!

Oh yeah! My last girlfriend has kind of gone crazy. She keeps emailing me... first a sweet&creepy email saying: "...been thinking about you non-stop for the last 3 months and wouldn't it be great to get back together even though you've moved on...", and then, after I sent a short but direct note ("I've moved on"), she sends me my first truly (no other word for it) venomous email... a real 180 degree-flip! It was incredibly nasty and hurtful. Amazing! So one of my quick sketches is supposed to be me, looking over my shoulder. I am, actually. I KNOW there are obsessive and disturbed people out there, but who would've thought I had actually DATED one? I shall continue running with the added spur of possibly having to outrun this particular woman in the future. Feets Don't Fail Me Now!

Lunchtime! Gotta go! Hope you like my first attempts. I'll be adding them daily, and with luck I'll retrain my hand to translate what I see in my mind.

Title of sketches:

1. STALKER? (not my best "over the shoulder/worried" glance)

2. APPEALING SNACK (har har)

3. I Have NO IDEA What to Draw!

also, thanks to Sarah (Twin 1) and Nick for being patiently insistent that I keep drawing.

Take care!

Frank

224 (47) Laura Has Absolutely the Best Hands!

Good morning and Blue Sky Friday to ya! Seriously, have you LOOKED outside? Powder blue skies, vivid green landscape, sunny and quiet but for the occasional drone of small airplanes. Phones are silent and my coworker hasn't come in yet. It's one of those mornings that makes me glad to be in Chicago in the springtime. Plus, the weekend is nearly here!! Laundry and leisure time and a change-up in the routine. After 5 days of 4:30 a.m. starts, Saturday's 8am sleep-in is going to seem positively decadent.

So, it's been a busy week. I didn't dip below 222, but neither did I hit 226. I maintained my weight, and without creating a significant caloric deficiency that's the simple truth. I had some donuts this week, 2 drive-thrus, and a couple of nights with only 4 hours of sleep. Not a winning combination for weight loss. The journaling helped keep the van on the mountain (even if I did drive off the road, so to speak).

Alright... the challenge for the weekend is to make smart nutritional choices. I'm going to duplicate the diet I enjoy during the working week: morning veggies, lean proteins at lunch, fruits and nuts (snack) and a half portion at dinnertime. The last 4 weekends have seen 4 pound increases in my weight. I have a better shot at reaching 219 by not eating up to 226 tomorrow and Sunday. 8am workout tomorrow, a run tonight and Sunday....yes, this is do-able.

So... my Thursday sand volleyball partner, Laura has the best hands out there! She passed and set the ball so beautifully, time and time again (shaking head in wonder), we had... so much fun yesterday! We were both spiking and running and diving and playing as a team. There were some great rallies and one insanely good play (a backwards kick at the back line sent the ball over the net, still in play, and after 3 more dives into the sand, we got the point. It was the perfect summer day. Surrounded by friends, playing with a lovely partner (great attitude, willing as a new day), and feeling healthy and vital and ALIVE... it was a golden moment in a very lucky life.

and when I woke up this morning, stiff and sore and 30 minutes late to the gym, I staggered onto a treadmill and walked out the stiffness. Seems so counterintuitive. Muscles hurt. Solution: work them out. I now merely feel elderly instead of ancient!

Alright. Work beckons. Take care of yourselves this weekend! Wish me luck (and self control) and I'll catch ya on Monday! (earlier, if I have good news to report).

Frank

223.5 (46.5) Short Post, Crazy Foods

Good morning!

Just a quick post today. Work has heated up and I'm behind the eight ball on some time-sensitive projects.

Slept in yesterday and missed my morning workout. Made up for it with (cold) sand volleyball practice last night. I woke up this morning and was back in the gym for a 5 mile elliptical session and some situps. No time for weights, but am looking forward to them tomorrow. 7 volleyball games (sand) tonight. Stomach is slightly hurting. My coworker thinks a pulled muscle. The hypochondriac in me thinks... hernia? hmmm... easing off situps for now, and tomorrow will be a high incline walk (20 degrees) on the treadmill. Great for getting a good sweat on, with less impact (better for the stomach).

Crazy/poor food choices yesterday. McDonald's drive-thru in the morning, followed by 2 delicious buttermilk donuts! Healthy green salad at lunch and fajitas for dinner. All in all, NOT a calorie deficit. Kept heart rate monitor on all day... burned about 1600 calories in 11 hours. Trying to pin down my BMR (basal metabolic rate?) but have yet to leave it on 24 hours with no extra (gym) activity. Interested to know the number.

Work has me a bit stressed at the moment. Ton of laundry to do. But the sun is shining, I'm happy and healthy and strong and vital. I've got a date this weekend and a trip to Milwaukee with my brother Saturday morning.

I'm tired this morning, but excited for the challenge of work. If I can just stay focused and deliberate in my actions (after this post) I won't let my clients down. I hope.

Take care! Thanks! 221... can we see you tomorrow morning??

Frank

222 (45) The Elusive Number!

It's Peach Season! Delicious! Even better than the yogurt set aside as my mid-afternoon snack!

Hi there! Just a quick minute to check in. Super busy at work today. It's 2pm and I have 7 "Must Happen" items on my list (usually at this time I have, about 3). Thank goodness I'm focused and well fed.

Solid workout this morning. Added "interval training" to my elliptical routine. Proved I was dogging it on the machines... the miles and calories weren't adding up. Jillian Michaels suggested the following high-intensity cardio workout: 30 second all-out sprint, 30 second recovery. Then add 15 seconds to each (45 sprint, 45 recovery). Add 15 seconds each time, building all the way to a 90 second sprint, followed by a 90 second recovery. Then pyramid back down to 30 seconds. And then repeat the whole cycle! Man! My heartrate shot up right away! and the miles! I managed just over 5 miles in 45 minutes, with 760 calories burned! Sweet! Those are the kinds of numbers I saw last year, when I was going all out, every morning, in the height of a very stressful time (divorce). The stress is gone. I've found a way to recreate the workout. Sweat-drippingly excellent!

and 222 on the scale this morning! Thank goodness! I ate some very late ice cream last night (slathered in butterscotch and chocolate sauces, whipped cream and sprinkles! Hey, go big or go home, I say!). Ron (from The Biggest Loser) said it best when he said: "What was the occasional must now become the constant, and what was constant before must now be very rare" (referring to exercise, nutrition and junk food).

Have a great day! The sun just appeared (it's been gloomy all day), and I hope it remains relatively nice for tonight's late night sand volleyball match. The nutritional challenge today... I'll be at a bar. I think I'll go for a rum and coke and a grilled chicken sandwich (with fruit instead of fries). The hard liquor is better than beer, but I'm not fooling myself. I better nurse that drink til gametime.

222! The number we've waited for! Next stop.... 219! Maybe if I just order an ice tea instead...

See ya!
Frank

226.5 (49.5) Serves Me Right for Being Organized

Good afternoon and Feliz Lunes, and even... Greetings from June 1st!

I've been getting progressively lighter at the start of every week in May. The trend has even continued into June.

5/11: 230.5#
5/18: 229.5#
5/26: 228#
6/1: 226.5#

Thank goodness I jot down my day's weight in our weekly staff meetings... makes it easy to see a month in a glance. Last Thursday and Friday I had raced down to 221.... and with 226 to start the week, well, it's just nice to see a general downwards trend. I know how it happens, but separating the emotions from the simple math... that continues to be a challenge.

Monday sand volleyball starts tonight, just in time to interfere with our Monday indoor playoffs! blech! 6:30 quarterfinals (indoor), and 3 of my 4 sand players are indoors (myself included). The sand team rallied and found 3 subs for the 7:10 match (so Laura wouldn't be on the sand alone). And then today was a comedy of Keystone Capers proportions when our schedule changed to a 6:30 sand start, and then changed back to the (original) 7:10 first game! Normally I procrastinate and so these little hiccoughs would correct themselves, but no, not this time! To untangle this lil knot translated to 5 emails and 3 texts to the whole team over the course of 4 hours. That's my punishment for being organized (and for flirting with the league coordinator, Jessica!). I'm on friendly terms with Jess, so naturally my team is the one that is bumped back and forth in the time slots.

Anyone see a pattern? How is it that I entangle myself with all these women and have nothing of value to show for it? I'm interested in the wrong women, or my strategy is flawed. Broccoli I understand. Relationships, not so much. Although ACTUALLY, this an ideal situation for asking Jessica out. My best dates are those that come from a humorous start. Hmmm... patience is my watchword. The single life is starting to agree with me, as if colors are returning to my everyday world (it's now almost 13 months since the divorce).

Alright. Back to formula. new plan: relax and laugh a little more. This is all "Much Ado About Nothing!" (Thanks Will!) These are truly... nice problems to have.

Take care! Have a good night! Cross your fingers for no rain. Thunderstorms (are) expected!
Frank

p.s. great workout this morning! Only 30 minutes of cardio, but solid numbers on the weights. My workout gloves really put me in the right mindset to push through my limitations on the weightlifting.