Good afternoon!
The marathon was wonderful! I ran with an iPod, but listened to it only for 6 songs, all Jeremy Camp. For the better part of 4 hours, 56 minutes and 40 seconds I chose instead to listen for God among my fellow runners, the crowds cheering us on (how they buoyed my spirit at mile 20! The tears in my eyes were the most grateful tears I've ever experienced), the wind, the sun, the entirety of the day. And then, right as we started mile 22, finally turning our backs to the headwind we had experienced for the previous 6 miles, they were playing Toby Mac's "Burn for You"! What a wonderful opportunity to cry out in thankfulness with every fiber of my being (and yes, the muscle fibers were aching!). To be ALIVE and utilized for His purpose! Such a day!!!
The marathon was my prayer. And it was answered.
All else is well. Better than well, wonderful! Better even than wonderful....... BALANCED.
I'm engaged to be married with the love of my life.
I'm drawing again (my future stepdaughter asked for pages she could color, and that simple request was enough to find me returning to my sketchbooks and do that which I've been gifted to do).
I'm praying to God, and more importantly, I'm listening FOR God. I see His hand moving through my life. Funny, it's always been there. My eyes were just too caked with the dust of this world.
Have a wonderful weekend! I'll post again, and soon!
Until then, I'm glad we're friends!
Frank
Friday, June 17, 2011
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
(weight unkown) 3 days til the marathon
Good morning.
I've been reading that restricting your overall calories is one of the best ways to lose weight and live longer. I realized that it's been a long time since I've felt hungry on a regular basis, and that came as a surprise to me. I think I'm eating too much. I'm a bit alarmed by this thought, so I'm going to experiment with calorie reduction. I'm going to cut my intake of processed foods by 50%. I don't know how this will play out, but to start with, I will eat half portions of anything that is considered a "processed" food.
My brother-in-law Matt is my height and quite a bit lighter than I am (he is around 185 most days). We both run, and I have heard him say on many occasions that the biggest boost to his weight loss (and current weight maintenance) is cutting his portions in half. There's more to the story, but that was the main point. Seeing a living example of weight loss and weight control gives me hope that I'm close to finding "a good fit" for my goals. I shall become a scientist of myself in this little journey towards healthy weight control. A 35 pound weight loss will put me at 195, a wonderful goal for my 6'4" frame.
This strategy feels correct, and I wonder where it will lead me.
Allergies are okay, though I just sneezed a bunch of times. Took my last Sudafed this morning and I will dip out at lunch to pick up some Claritin (or generic brand) at Target. I think I've had undiagnosed allergies for most of my life. I always chalked it up to "a summer cold", though they've never been severe, just irritating.
Did I tell you that I'm running this marathon without an iPod? In my mind, this is akin to announcing I'm running barefoot! I've come to learn that when I run without headphones I am much more in tune with my surroundings, the crowd, my body and my heart. I slip into prayer as I run, and my mind just kind of drifts away. It's like an "out of body" experience, but very much "in the body" too. I wonder what prayers I will offer up to God. This might be the best time to quiet my requests and instead practice my listening skills. I guess we'll see. 3-1/2 days away.
Take care. Thanks for stopping by today. I hope your week is a sweet one.
Frank
I've been reading that restricting your overall calories is one of the best ways to lose weight and live longer. I realized that it's been a long time since I've felt hungry on a regular basis, and that came as a surprise to me. I think I'm eating too much. I'm a bit alarmed by this thought, so I'm going to experiment with calorie reduction. I'm going to cut my intake of processed foods by 50%. I don't know how this will play out, but to start with, I will eat half portions of anything that is considered a "processed" food.
My brother-in-law Matt is my height and quite a bit lighter than I am (he is around 185 most days). We both run, and I have heard him say on many occasions that the biggest boost to his weight loss (and current weight maintenance) is cutting his portions in half. There's more to the story, but that was the main point. Seeing a living example of weight loss and weight control gives me hope that I'm close to finding "a good fit" for my goals. I shall become a scientist of myself in this little journey towards healthy weight control. A 35 pound weight loss will put me at 195, a wonderful goal for my 6'4" frame.
This strategy feels correct, and I wonder where it will lead me.
Allergies are okay, though I just sneezed a bunch of times. Took my last Sudafed this morning and I will dip out at lunch to pick up some Claritin (or generic brand) at Target. I think I've had undiagnosed allergies for most of my life. I always chalked it up to "a summer cold", though they've never been severe, just irritating.
Did I tell you that I'm running this marathon without an iPod? In my mind, this is akin to announcing I'm running barefoot! I've come to learn that when I run without headphones I am much more in tune with my surroundings, the crowd, my body and my heart. I slip into prayer as I run, and my mind just kind of drifts away. It's like an "out of body" experience, but very much "in the body" too. I wonder what prayers I will offer up to God. This might be the best time to quiet my requests and instead practice my listening skills. I guess we'll see. 3-1/2 days away.
Take care. Thanks for stopping by today. I hope your week is a sweet one.
Frank
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
(229.5#) 117 Hours Until the Marathon
GOOD MORNING!!!!
Spring is here, and my heart cries out with elation and joy!
Seriously, this is one of the best payoffs for living in the Midwest.... spring and summer!!! We're 20 days til the pools open, 5 days til the marathon, and RIGHT NOW for good weather!!!
I hope this note finds you well. I'm on a mission... I'm cleaning house (internally) and knocking out everything on my immediate to-do lists. I'm focused at work and I'm reconnecting with friends and loved ones. I'm praying for my enemies and "sitting in stillness" early in the mornings... listening for God.
I'll tell you what, I find it EXTREMELY easy to pray, aka: TALKING to God, but it is a challenge for me to meditate, aka: LISTEN to God. My men's Bible study group has challenged me last night to go to God with an "open hand", offering full submission to His will for the direction of my Life. Wow. That's a challenge, for I REALLY like control, and submitting to God would be a conscious release of that control.
It's actually a tougher challenge than the upcoming 26.2 miles.
But I'm willing and ready.
I can't do this alone.
I don't want to do this alone.
I want God in my life as the captain of my soul, and I will happily go where He leads me. Through Him all things are possible, including the transformation of my wayward soul.
I started this blog because I wanted to lose weight. Today I'm looking to be released of my heart's heaviest burden, the extreme weight of my ego.
Please Lord, release me from my ego, and release me from my desire for control and independence from You.
Let my life be a living sacrifice for You.
This Sunday's run will be a run of joy and gratitude. Let every fiber of my being cry out in exultation of your Word!
Mold me, guide me, direct me. Let my loved ones see Your love shining through me.
Make me a channel of Your peace.
And together, let's run!
Have a great day! Sketches coming soon!
Frank
Spring is here, and my heart cries out with elation and joy!
Seriously, this is one of the best payoffs for living in the Midwest.... spring and summer!!! We're 20 days til the pools open, 5 days til the marathon, and RIGHT NOW for good weather!!!
I hope this note finds you well. I'm on a mission... I'm cleaning house (internally) and knocking out everything on my immediate to-do lists. I'm focused at work and I'm reconnecting with friends and loved ones. I'm praying for my enemies and "sitting in stillness" early in the mornings... listening for God.
I'll tell you what, I find it EXTREMELY easy to pray, aka: TALKING to God, but it is a challenge for me to meditate, aka: LISTEN to God. My men's Bible study group has challenged me last night to go to God with an "open hand", offering full submission to His will for the direction of my Life. Wow. That's a challenge, for I REALLY like control, and submitting to God would be a conscious release of that control.
It's actually a tougher challenge than the upcoming 26.2 miles.
But I'm willing and ready.
I can't do this alone.
I don't want to do this alone.
I want God in my life as the captain of my soul, and I will happily go where He leads me. Through Him all things are possible, including the transformation of my wayward soul.
I started this blog because I wanted to lose weight. Today I'm looking to be released of my heart's heaviest burden, the extreme weight of my ego.
Please Lord, release me from my ego, and release me from my desire for control and independence from You.
Let my life be a living sacrifice for You.
This Sunday's run will be a run of joy and gratitude. Let every fiber of my being cry out in exultation of your Word!
Mold me, guide me, direct me. Let my loved ones see Your love shining through me.
Make me a channel of Your peace.
And together, let's run!
Have a great day! Sketches coming soon!
Frank
Friday, May 6, 2011
Letter to a Friend
Good afternoon, my Friend.
You are... without a doubt, without a SINGLE DOUBT IN MY MIND, you are a surprise, a pleasure, and a joy! I hope this letter finds you well.
and HAPPY FRIDAY!!
Today, I am grateful for your place in my life. I can't wait to see you. I just want to give you a big fat hug, swing you around in the air and thank you for being YOU! I'm serious! You've been a wonderful friend to me, and a total lifesaver! Kind of like my secret "in-case-of-TRUE-emergency-I'm-here-for-you" person. You're my big guns, my honest surprise and such a delight! I'm saying a prayer of gratitude for you right now. I look forward to seeing you, laughing and sharing stories together. You've reminded me that I belong to God... anything good that's come from me has been a result of the love and time you've invested. We are a chain of hearts, linked by love and devotion, prayer and worship.
It seems as if there was a rough patch for the past couple weeks, as if I had lost my focus. Prayer and faith carried me through, and here I am with a new, calmer heart. "I can do all things in Him who strengthens me." God just wants us to trust Him with whatever we have. He wants us to know Him, love Him, and put everything on Him. All I want to do is (as Liz Gilbert so eloquently put it) "Search for God like a man whose hair is on fire will search for water". Last Sunday's run was my longest training run, 20 miles. Out of everything that came from that run, do you know what meant the most to me? The last 2 miles. I turned off the iPod and just spent those 2 miles praying and giving thanks for the life God gave me, the air in my lungs, the strength to run and the heart to pump, eyes to see and enjoy this little corner of Creation. :) Those last 2 miles were effortless. I was carried on a wave of prayer and gratitude, and the running was a perfect vehicle for worship. This upcoming marathon will be a prayer said with every muscle, every breath, every fiber of my being. It may have taken 37 years to come back to God, but I'm back, and I'm smiling. There will be a day when we're all together, laughing and smiling and filled with joy untinctured with pain. (and yes, I think this is the FIRST time in my life I've ever had the opportunity to actually USE the word "untinctured". You bring out the Scrabble scholar in me.)
This life is truly a transformative journey, and I am daily encouraged by the progress of our souls. And now, may I offer a bit of advice? Continue to trust your instincts. You're strong in your faith. Continue to quiet your inner voice, and continue to make a space for God to indwell within your heart. Focus on the people and experiences that expand your heart and heal your soul. As the messages from the Virgin Mary say, so I repeat here: Pray, Fast, and Repent. Make it part of your daily life. And continue to send energy, love and light to those that need it, but use care to protect yourself from any emotional blackholes.*
*side note: have you ever noticed how some people seem to have quite a bit of bad luck, as if they've got a gray cloud over their head? I fall for this often... thinking the "storm clouds" are results of bad luck, bad relationships, checkered pasts, etc, I find myself trying to support and uplift them. More often than not it becomes clear that no matter the reason the clouds first appeared, these people maintain the "victim mentality", going so far as to have their egos identify with the pain as part of their own identity!!! yuck! These people end up sucking the energy of those souls who come in contact with them, and they allow their pain and misery to define them!!! Personally, I distance myself physcially, and pray for them privately. I pray for a space to be created within, so that the Holy Spirit rushes in and fills them with sunlight, peace, and happiness. It's all I know how to do in order to keep myself safe, yet also share God's Love. Things in this Life can shake us to our very cores... and leave us with deep wounds. You must get right with God to heal the hurt inside. Until that happens, a soul can't move forward.
Have I told you that I see you as a living example of Christ's love? You do indeed have a happy soul, and I suspect you were made on a special day in Heaven.
(deep sigh)
wow. I honestly wasn't intending to write today. I woke with a bit of a headache and the feeling of "tunnel vision" (aka: cue the opening bars of NERVOUS BEFORE THE BIG RUN). I thought today was just going to be a day to "get through it quietly". Ha! My soul is awake now! My eyes are bright and the weather outside promises a perfect opportunity for a good tapering run after work. I'm thinking 7-10 miles. I guess we'll just see what I've got in the tank. It's becoming less about the run and more about the quiet time in my soul. I can hardly wait!
Now get out there and have a GREAT weekend! HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!! In between times of meditation I'm currently reading and listening to Caroline Myss, Elizabeth Gilbert, T. Colin Campbell (The China Study), Jillian Michaels, the Gospel of John, Anthony Robbins, and, of course, my daily Calvin and Hobbes!
Thanks for reading this post. I've come to learn that these notes serve as a working diary for me, illuminating the journey and the miles traveled. It's also become a reminder of not only WHO we are, but WHOSE we are.
Thank you for calling out the best in me!
Your Dear Friend,
Frank
You are... without a doubt, without a SINGLE DOUBT IN MY MIND, you are a surprise, a pleasure, and a joy! I hope this letter finds you well.
and HAPPY FRIDAY!!
Today, I am grateful for your place in my life. I can't wait to see you. I just want to give you a big fat hug, swing you around in the air and thank you for being YOU! I'm serious! You've been a wonderful friend to me, and a total lifesaver! Kind of like my secret "in-case-of-TRUE-emergency-I'm-here-for-you" person. You're my big guns, my honest surprise and such a delight! I'm saying a prayer of gratitude for you right now. I look forward to seeing you, laughing and sharing stories together. You've reminded me that I belong to God... anything good that's come from me has been a result of the love and time you've invested. We are a chain of hearts, linked by love and devotion, prayer and worship.
It seems as if there was a rough patch for the past couple weeks, as if I had lost my focus. Prayer and faith carried me through, and here I am with a new, calmer heart. "I can do all things in Him who strengthens me." God just wants us to trust Him with whatever we have. He wants us to know Him, love Him, and put everything on Him. All I want to do is (as Liz Gilbert so eloquently put it) "Search for God like a man whose hair is on fire will search for water". Last Sunday's run was my longest training run, 20 miles. Out of everything that came from that run, do you know what meant the most to me? The last 2 miles. I turned off the iPod and just spent those 2 miles praying and giving thanks for the life God gave me, the air in my lungs, the strength to run and the heart to pump, eyes to see and enjoy this little corner of Creation. :) Those last 2 miles were effortless. I was carried on a wave of prayer and gratitude, and the running was a perfect vehicle for worship. This upcoming marathon will be a prayer said with every muscle, every breath, every fiber of my being. It may have taken 37 years to come back to God, but I'm back, and I'm smiling. There will be a day when we're all together, laughing and smiling and filled with joy untinctured with pain. (and yes, I think this is the FIRST time in my life I've ever had the opportunity to actually USE the word "untinctured". You bring out the Scrabble scholar in me.)
This life is truly a transformative journey, and I am daily encouraged by the progress of our souls. And now, may I offer a bit of advice? Continue to trust your instincts. You're strong in your faith. Continue to quiet your inner voice, and continue to make a space for God to indwell within your heart. Focus on the people and experiences that expand your heart and heal your soul. As the messages from the Virgin Mary say, so I repeat here: Pray, Fast, and Repent. Make it part of your daily life. And continue to send energy, love and light to those that need it, but use care to protect yourself from any emotional blackholes.*
*side note: have you ever noticed how some people seem to have quite a bit of bad luck, as if they've got a gray cloud over their head? I fall for this often... thinking the "storm clouds" are results of bad luck, bad relationships, checkered pasts, etc, I find myself trying to support and uplift them. More often than not it becomes clear that no matter the reason the clouds first appeared, these people maintain the "victim mentality", going so far as to have their egos identify with the pain as part of their own identity!!! yuck! These people end up sucking the energy of those souls who come in contact with them, and they allow their pain and misery to define them!!! Personally, I distance myself physcially, and pray for them privately. I pray for a space to be created within, so that the Holy Spirit rushes in and fills them with sunlight, peace, and happiness. It's all I know how to do in order to keep myself safe, yet also share God's Love. Things in this Life can shake us to our very cores... and leave us with deep wounds. You must get right with God to heal the hurt inside. Until that happens, a soul can't move forward.
Have I told you that I see you as a living example of Christ's love? You do indeed have a happy soul, and I suspect you were made on a special day in Heaven.
(deep sigh)
wow. I honestly wasn't intending to write today. I woke with a bit of a headache and the feeling of "tunnel vision" (aka: cue the opening bars of NERVOUS BEFORE THE BIG RUN). I thought today was just going to be a day to "get through it quietly". Ha! My soul is awake now! My eyes are bright and the weather outside promises a perfect opportunity for a good tapering run after work. I'm thinking 7-10 miles. I guess we'll just see what I've got in the tank. It's becoming less about the run and more about the quiet time in my soul. I can hardly wait!
Now get out there and have a GREAT weekend! HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!! In between times of meditation I'm currently reading and listening to Caroline Myss, Elizabeth Gilbert, T. Colin Campbell (The China Study), Jillian Michaels, the Gospel of John, Anthony Robbins, and, of course, my daily Calvin and Hobbes!
Thanks for reading this post. I've come to learn that these notes serve as a working diary for me, illuminating the journey and the miles traveled. It's also become a reminder of not only WHO we are, but WHOSE we are.
Thank you for calling out the best in me!
Your Dear Friend,
Frank
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
(228.5#) The Sun is Shining Everywhere
Good morning!
There are some things in Life that are completely worth the price. I love the opportunities to trade a few hours of sleep for reconnecting with friends and family, sharing laughter and relationship. And the cost? A couple zzzzs, a rush to get to work in the morning (with a quick face scrub in the sink instead of a shower), and a promise to "get better" on this whole getting to work/balancing Life thing.
Life is good, and I'm feeling both lucky and blessed. Money is tight but the constriction around my heart has loosened (a poetic constriction, that is).
The marathon is 11 days, and I finally feel ready. I managed to find my way back onto a course of training that feels right for me, and 3 days ago I ran my longest training run of 20 miles. Took 4 hours and 45 minutes. I stretched a lot, drank a lot, listened to a lot of music, ran past two full Little League games, prayed and offered gratitude to God and found my way forward again. I've got 26.2 miles within me. I not only believe that now, but I OWN it. :)
Have a great day! We're alive, and we've been blessed with this opportunity. Make the most of it.
Frank
There are some things in Life that are completely worth the price. I love the opportunities to trade a few hours of sleep for reconnecting with friends and family, sharing laughter and relationship. And the cost? A couple zzzzs, a rush to get to work in the morning (with a quick face scrub in the sink instead of a shower), and a promise to "get better" on this whole getting to work/balancing Life thing.
Life is good, and I'm feeling both lucky and blessed. Money is tight but the constriction around my heart has loosened (a poetic constriction, that is).
The marathon is 11 days, and I finally feel ready. I managed to find my way back onto a course of training that feels right for me, and 3 days ago I ran my longest training run of 20 miles. Took 4 hours and 45 minutes. I stretched a lot, drank a lot, listened to a lot of music, ran past two full Little League games, prayed and offered gratitude to God and found my way forward again. I've got 26.2 miles within me. I not only believe that now, but I OWN it. :)
Have a great day! We're alive, and we've been blessed with this opportunity. Make the most of it.
Frank
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
(227.5#) So Many Personal Deficiencies
Good morning.
I ended up getting into a giant fight with my girlfriend last night, over the issue of whether I have her back on things. We argue fairly regularly, and boy does it feel healthy. Nothing like a juicy argument to keep the love lines open. However, they don't always come at convenient times. And darn it, she's right. I haven't had her back on things. I've disrespected our relationship and disrespected her. Time to change.
So I stayed up too late, wound up too tight, worried, stressed, argumentative and apologetic, and I overslept and missed my morning run. *#&*%$&#!!!! I'm at work, and I'm angry at myself (for what I lack), angry with her (for calling out the best in me), full of acid and feeling headachey.
On the plus side, I didn't eat breakfast. I just stomped out of the apartment this morning, without taking any food.
That'll show her.
(yes, I realize how this sounds)
Wow. Stupid ego of mine. Really likes to louse things up when threatened. I'm standing FAR BACK from my ego on this one. yes. Time to change, and time to pray.
as for the running....I'll run tonight, instead of playing volleyball with my friends. Or maybe I'll run, and then go cheer my friends on. That sounds reasonable. 17 days away. This friggin' marathon is revealing a lot of my personal deficiencies, not the least of which includes poor time management, lack of ownership of my decisions, weak character and poor follow through. yay. WHY did I start running?
But even in the midst of feeling crummy, used, and abused, I still think that without a doubt I have a lovely life. These are nice problems to have. I may not enjoy having to face personal deficiencies in my character, but the opportunity to grow beyond them? Priceless. I hope I can overcome my toughest opponent.
Lord, please wash away my iniquities. Reveal the man inside, and let true character be revealed and strengthened. My ego....please burn it to ash and let it be carried away on a sweet summer breeze.
Take care! This ranks up there as one of my most heartfelt (and personally annoying) posts to date.
Frank
I ended up getting into a giant fight with my girlfriend last night, over the issue of whether I have her back on things. We argue fairly regularly, and boy does it feel healthy. Nothing like a juicy argument to keep the love lines open. However, they don't always come at convenient times. And darn it, she's right. I haven't had her back on things. I've disrespected our relationship and disrespected her. Time to change.
So I stayed up too late, wound up too tight, worried, stressed, argumentative and apologetic, and I overslept and missed my morning run. *#&*%$&#!!!! I'm at work, and I'm angry at myself (for what I lack), angry with her (for calling out the best in me), full of acid and feeling headachey.
On the plus side, I didn't eat breakfast. I just stomped out of the apartment this morning, without taking any food.
That'll show her.
(yes, I realize how this sounds)
Wow. Stupid ego of mine. Really likes to louse things up when threatened. I'm standing FAR BACK from my ego on this one. yes. Time to change, and time to pray.
as for the running....I'll run tonight, instead of playing volleyball with my friends. Or maybe I'll run, and then go cheer my friends on. That sounds reasonable. 17 days away. This friggin' marathon is revealing a lot of my personal deficiencies, not the least of which includes poor time management, lack of ownership of my decisions, weak character and poor follow through. yay. WHY did I start running?
But even in the midst of feeling crummy, used, and abused, I still think that without a doubt I have a lovely life. These are nice problems to have. I may not enjoy having to face personal deficiencies in my character, but the opportunity to grow beyond them? Priceless. I hope I can overcome my toughest opponent.
Lord, please wash away my iniquities. Reveal the man inside, and let true character be revealed and strengthened. My ego....please burn it to ash and let it be carried away on a sweet summer breeze.
Take care! This ranks up there as one of my most heartfelt (and personally annoying) posts to date.
Frank
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
(226 pounds) Formerly Fat & Slow, Finally Ready to Go!
Good morning!
I did it! A 5 mile run last night! Unremarkable time of 58:57, but I'm happy all the same (even if I DID feel fat and slow and imagined I had a bellyful of potatoes jostling around). My previous run was last Wednesday, and it's true what they say about losing the edge if you have too many rest days between workouts. 18 days til the marathon. I'm going to allow just a single rest day between runs from here on out.
To that end, I'm taking today off and I'll log my 10 mile run tomorrow morning starting at 5am. And for THAT to happen, I need to be in bed by 9pm tonight.
Which leads to today's dilemma, or what I like to refer to as "a nice problem to have."
I can pop over to my friend's house for an evening of watching "The Biggest Loser" (including lots of good food and snarky comments). I can also spend the night at home getting our apartment in order (including the folding and sorting of 3 baskets of clean laundry).
I'm going to stay at home. My girlfriend's 2-1/2 year old daughter will be with us tonight, and she's such a fun little girl, I want to take the night to straighten up the house and play with her til she falls asleep with a big happy smile on her face. Too often it seems like she's subjected to our schedule and our timelines (last night we brought her to the childcare at the gym during our quick run -- I think she really just wanted to stay home and run around in circles and knock things over and generally be a cute toddler in her own home, covering us with crazy hugs and kisses).
As I said, nice problems to have. :)
Food and nutrition are going well, and I'm journaling my meals again (my little food diary is next to the computer here). I don't know why, but as long as I write down what I'm eating I become very conscious of the quality and amount of food, and better control seems to almost naturally take place. I feel greatly relieved when that happens. It seems like an extraordinarily positive result for something that is relatively easy to do (every time I eat something, I write it down in my book).
My faith life continues to mature. The lesson that came before me this morning was accepting that God's Love is greater than my decisions. I can love without an agenda. What a relief! I've been stressing as to how I can be a good disciple to others, relaying God's message of hope and love, and all without passing judgement or "muddying the message" with my own ego and its opinions. "Love without agenda, and leave the rest to the Holy Spirit" is a wonderful message, especially as it elegantly released me from trying to control everything.
That's been my day so far. I hope your Tuesday is off to a great start.
Take care,
Frank
I did it! A 5 mile run last night! Unremarkable time of 58:57, but I'm happy all the same (even if I DID feel fat and slow and imagined I had a bellyful of potatoes jostling around). My previous run was last Wednesday, and it's true what they say about losing the edge if you have too many rest days between workouts. 18 days til the marathon. I'm going to allow just a single rest day between runs from here on out.
To that end, I'm taking today off and I'll log my 10 mile run tomorrow morning starting at 5am. And for THAT to happen, I need to be in bed by 9pm tonight.
Which leads to today's dilemma, or what I like to refer to as "a nice problem to have."
I can pop over to my friend's house for an evening of watching "The Biggest Loser" (including lots of good food and snarky comments). I can also spend the night at home getting our apartment in order (including the folding and sorting of 3 baskets of clean laundry).
I'm going to stay at home. My girlfriend's 2-1/2 year old daughter will be with us tonight, and she's such a fun little girl, I want to take the night to straighten up the house and play with her til she falls asleep with a big happy smile on her face. Too often it seems like she's subjected to our schedule and our timelines (last night we brought her to the childcare at the gym during our quick run -- I think she really just wanted to stay home and run around in circles and knock things over and generally be a cute toddler in her own home, covering us with crazy hugs and kisses).
As I said, nice problems to have. :)
Food and nutrition are going well, and I'm journaling my meals again (my little food diary is next to the computer here). I don't know why, but as long as I write down what I'm eating I become very conscious of the quality and amount of food, and better control seems to almost naturally take place. I feel greatly relieved when that happens. It seems like an extraordinarily positive result for something that is relatively easy to do (every time I eat something, I write it down in my book).
My faith life continues to mature. The lesson that came before me this morning was accepting that God's Love is greater than my decisions. I can love without an agenda. What a relief! I've been stressing as to how I can be a good disciple to others, relaying God's message of hope and love, and all without passing judgement or "muddying the message" with my own ego and its opinions. "Love without agenda, and leave the rest to the Holy Spirit" is a wonderful message, especially as it elegantly released me from trying to control everything.
That's been my day so far. I hope your Tuesday is off to a great start.
Take care,
Frank
Monday, April 25, 2011
(230#?) I Think I'm Worried
I'm getting nervous.
My first marathon is 19 days away and I seem to have lost interest in running.
well, I've lost interest in my training guide, at least.
Tonight's a running night. I have no idea what I can summon from within, but it feels like a perfect opportunity to "turn this wayward bus around".
I'M SCARED OF RUNNING POORLY.
hmmm. Just typing that has made me feel a bit better. As if I've called out the fear and given it actual (instead of imagined) dimensions.
it's just running.
I think I'll run the "long run week" this week. That means 5 miles today after work, 10 tomorrow morning (before work), rest on Wednesday, 5 on Thursday morning, and then 20 miles on Saturday (outside, weather permitting). If I can log this week's miles (40 miles total) I'll be writing a VERY different post next Monday. :)
19 days to go.
alright..... how does this thing go? oh yeah...... left foot, right foot.....
Have a nice night! I'll report back tomorrow!
Frank
My first marathon is 19 days away and I seem to have lost interest in running.
well, I've lost interest in my training guide, at least.
Tonight's a running night. I have no idea what I can summon from within, but it feels like a perfect opportunity to "turn this wayward bus around".
I'M SCARED OF RUNNING POORLY.
hmmm. Just typing that has made me feel a bit better. As if I've called out the fear and given it actual (instead of imagined) dimensions.
it's just running.
I think I'll run the "long run week" this week. That means 5 miles today after work, 10 tomorrow morning (before work), rest on Wednesday, 5 on Thursday morning, and then 20 miles on Saturday (outside, weather permitting). If I can log this week's miles (40 miles total) I'll be writing a VERY different post next Monday. :)
19 days to go.
alright..... how does this thing go? oh yeah...... left foot, right foot.....
Have a nice night! I'll report back tomorrow!
Frank
Friday, April 22, 2011
(227.5#) Good Friday
...let's not forget our roots.
I'm cleaning the kitchen.
I gained back some of the weight, but it feels right (and I'm lighter than the 229 of 2 days ago). I ate late last night and I would do better to stick to an early(earlier) bedtime.
My investigations are ranging between our food supply, the authenticity of Christ, self realization and our call to achieve our full potential. oh yeah, and training for a marathon, making a serious attempt to shake loose the yoke of fast food, and becoming a more organized person in my personal life.
Out of everything going on, the biggest question seems to be whether to train (run) with an iPod. I love the music and the stories, but running in silence creates a meditative experience for me. I'm going to continue to leave the iPod at home and sit in the silence, instead.
Have a great day! Gotta get back to the dishes.
Frank
I'm cleaning the kitchen.
I gained back some of the weight, but it feels right (and I'm lighter than the 229 of 2 days ago). I ate late last night and I would do better to stick to an early(earlier) bedtime.
My investigations are ranging between our food supply, the authenticity of Christ, self realization and our call to achieve our full potential. oh yeah, and training for a marathon, making a serious attempt to shake loose the yoke of fast food, and becoming a more organized person in my personal life.
Out of everything going on, the biggest question seems to be whether to train (run) with an iPod. I love the music and the stories, but running in silence creates a meditative experience for me. I'm going to continue to leave the iPod at home and sit in the silence, instead.
Have a great day! Gotta get back to the dishes.
Frank
Thursday, April 21, 2011
(223) Create an Indwelling for God
(from a letter to a friend)
please Please PLEASE
Be sure to keep God first.
It's crucial to be clear on the intent behind our actions and thoughts. Intent is key. Are you living your life for God's glory, or for your own?
Keep God first.
and then pour everything into Him, your worries, your stress, your fears and all the things that keep you feeling isolated and alone. God wants you to seek only Him, and to give over all distractions to Him.
A favorite line of mine is: "Search for God the way that a man whose hair is on fire will search for water."
This material world will fade away. It's an illusion. I'm coming to learn that the most important thing we can do is create an indwelling for God in our hearts, so that our family, our friends, and all who meet and interact with us can experience God's love shining through us.
You have been given a good and kind heart, and a spirit that can discern many things. Keep searching for God, and keep Him first in every way.
I'm proud of you.
...for the record, I also find "Keeping God First" to be a personal challenge.
I haven't shared this before, but....I visualize my life force, my ki, my spirit, as a powerful and formless energy. It rises out of the back of my neck like wild kundalini energy. I focus on a person and direct my energy to them. I basically "think it" on its way and my spirit hurtles through time and space to those whom I've asked it to support, comfort, energize and celebrate. It responds to love (expands, actually), and this visualization is a key element in lifting me out of the concerns and fears (and limitations) of the ego.
The thing is, I don't know if I'm doing this for God's glory, or for my own.
I'd like to think I'm treating this ability as a faithful steward. However, the "pretty lights and neon fireworks" of untamed kundalini energy racing out of my body is very cool to picture, and the accompanying thought that "I'm doing good and important works of love and charity" distracts me from the essential point. It's as if the ego wants to slide in and take credit for God's gifts. And then I recall that the ego's purpose is not to support us, but rather to keep us cut off and feeling separate from God and the rest of Creation. When I step back from my ego and it's narrow definition of "self" (an easy mental picture of standing above and behind a fussy child), then I feel as if I'm finally touching on my inner divinity. Keeping it real, as it were (which is funny, considering we're talking about formless thoughts designed to remind us of our interconnectedness to all things).
May God find fertile soil and take root within my heart.
That's my thought for the day.
On the "illusory" side of things, I ran 10 miles last night on the treadmill! Woo Hoo! I feel reconnected and back on track with the marathon training (only 23 days til the big race). I also dropped close to 7 pounds overnight! Mostly fluids, I suspect, but a 2nd successful night of ceasing to eat after 7:30 might have made a difference in the total amount. I'm donating blood tonight, so tonight will be a rest day from running, and the post-donation Oreos will be a sweet treat!
6 cookies, slightly stale, but delicious all the same.
Everything in moderation. Except for God. Can't get enough of Him in my life! And for that, I am truly grateful!
Namaste
Frank
please Please PLEASE
Be sure to keep God first.
It's crucial to be clear on the intent behind our actions and thoughts. Intent is key. Are you living your life for God's glory, or for your own?
Keep God first.
and then pour everything into Him, your worries, your stress, your fears and all the things that keep you feeling isolated and alone. God wants you to seek only Him, and to give over all distractions to Him.
A favorite line of mine is: "Search for God the way that a man whose hair is on fire will search for water."
This material world will fade away. It's an illusion. I'm coming to learn that the most important thing we can do is create an indwelling for God in our hearts, so that our family, our friends, and all who meet and interact with us can experience God's love shining through us.
You have been given a good and kind heart, and a spirit that can discern many things. Keep searching for God, and keep Him first in every way.
I'm proud of you.
...for the record, I also find "Keeping God First" to be a personal challenge.
I haven't shared this before, but....I visualize my life force, my ki, my spirit, as a powerful and formless energy. It rises out of the back of my neck like wild kundalini energy. I focus on a person and direct my energy to them. I basically "think it" on its way and my spirit hurtles through time and space to those whom I've asked it to support, comfort, energize and celebrate. It responds to love (expands, actually), and this visualization is a key element in lifting me out of the concerns and fears (and limitations) of the ego.
The thing is, I don't know if I'm doing this for God's glory, or for my own.
I'd like to think I'm treating this ability as a faithful steward. However, the "pretty lights and neon fireworks" of untamed kundalini energy racing out of my body is very cool to picture, and the accompanying thought that "I'm doing good and important works of love and charity" distracts me from the essential point. It's as if the ego wants to slide in and take credit for God's gifts. And then I recall that the ego's purpose is not to support us, but rather to keep us cut off and feeling separate from God and the rest of Creation. When I step back from my ego and it's narrow definition of "self" (an easy mental picture of standing above and behind a fussy child), then I feel as if I'm finally touching on my inner divinity. Keeping it real, as it were (which is funny, considering we're talking about formless thoughts designed to remind us of our interconnectedness to all things).
May God find fertile soil and take root within my heart.
That's my thought for the day.
On the "illusory" side of things, I ran 10 miles last night on the treadmill! Woo Hoo! I feel reconnected and back on track with the marathon training (only 23 days til the big race). I also dropped close to 7 pounds overnight! Mostly fluids, I suspect, but a 2nd successful night of ceasing to eat after 7:30 might have made a difference in the total amount. I'm donating blood tonight, so tonight will be a rest day from running, and the post-donation Oreos will be a sweet treat!
6 cookies, slightly stale, but delicious all the same.
Everything in moderation. Except for God. Can't get enough of Him in my life! And for that, I am truly grateful!
Namaste
Frank
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
(229) and Soaring High
(my prayer for the day)
Good afternoon, my friend!
It's been much too long. Sit down by the fire, warm your hands and have a cup of tea as we break bread and enjoy each other's company.
It is SO GOOD to be alive, isn't it? I find myself with 24 days until my first marathon and feeling newly focused on the daily running goals (10 miles tonight). I'm one day into a (mostly) plant-based diet with the intent to be a better steward of the body I've been entrusted. I'm overjoyed that I'm writing again! It's lunchtime, and that means crisp spinach, red peppers, rice and beans (along with some chicken; this is a careful transition from my old ways).
in a larger view...
I find myself with more challenges and less money, an unknown future yet greater faith. It's a wonderful combination. For through God all things are possible, and inviting Jesus to indwell within us, why, that just opens up eternity! No wonder I'm laughing so much these days. I feel like the Holy Spirit has just been waiting for me to open the door. Why do we give so much of ourselves over to Fear? No longer... I have recognized my ego and its limitations. I choose instead to soar through the skies, free and light and alive.
And so here I sit, faithful, content, at ease, and also refreshed, renewed and restored. It's going to be a lovely life, lived with eyes and heart wide open.
Thank you. My life is so much more interesting with you in it. More to come.
Frank
Good afternoon, my friend!
It's been much too long. Sit down by the fire, warm your hands and have a cup of tea as we break bread and enjoy each other's company.
It is SO GOOD to be alive, isn't it? I find myself with 24 days until my first marathon and feeling newly focused on the daily running goals (10 miles tonight). I'm one day into a (mostly) plant-based diet with the intent to be a better steward of the body I've been entrusted. I'm overjoyed that I'm writing again! It's lunchtime, and that means crisp spinach, red peppers, rice and beans (along with some chicken; this is a careful transition from my old ways).
in a larger view...
I find myself with more challenges and less money, an unknown future yet greater faith. It's a wonderful combination. For through God all things are possible, and inviting Jesus to indwell within us, why, that just opens up eternity! No wonder I'm laughing so much these days. I feel like the Holy Spirit has just been waiting for me to open the door. Why do we give so much of ourselves over to Fear? No longer... I have recognized my ego and its limitations. I choose instead to soar through the skies, free and light and alive.
And so here I sit, faithful, content, at ease, and also refreshed, renewed and restored. It's going to be a lovely life, lived with eyes and heart wide open.
Thank you. My life is so much more interesting with you in it. More to come.
Frank
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