I was distracted by the messenger...

...and what a lovely distraction she was.

It's taken time, longer than I would have guessed (when it comes to love, I'll linger a moment more), yet here we are, clear minds and open hearts. It took a while to separate my affection for a friend from the joy in the direction she was pointing me towards. A slight misstep in an important neuro-association, but an easily-remedied error.

Did I mention that my thoughts and actions are a poor translation of the incredible love and service of my parents? "If you think I'm nice, this is NOTHING compared to my Mom and Dad...". Such a bittersweet admission, but the clue on how to rise above what I've done until now is buried within that statement.

On a different note, we learned last week how to slow our heartbeats in the pool. Bob up and down with the rhythm of the water and we quickly get tuned into something larger than ourselves. In a wider sense, the same is happening elsewhere and everywhere in my daily life. There is a growing sense of Calm.

I pray it's Compassion, not Indifference, that has entered my life.

Time will tell.*

*my sincere apologies....this particular line causes a justifiable eye-roll with one of my friends. And yet, it is STILL the best line for this occasion.

There are very few absolutes in Life, and I absolutely believe that.

Thanks for reading this.

Woody

(217) Seven is an Auspicious Number

Walked into the gym at 7am.

7th child from a loving family.

7 loads of laundry to wash and fold today.

I'm stumped on more at the moment.

It's been a beautiful, thoughtful morning.

The way is being cleared. I have no idea what's coming, or how I'll be called, but my next steps are clear: listen, love and laugh.

I've added "practice yoga" to this list. Flexibility will be needed.

Two thoughts for today:

Thank you for what you've given me.

Subtle energies are ever at work.

Frank

(weight unknown) I could've been an 80's rock lyricist

"My efforts are half-hearted and wasted. I give in to despair and float on an ocean of pain under a melting sun. Hope is a cool blue raft upon which I lie, eyes closed and dreaming of rain."

wow. Solid gold lyrics there. ha! So Life squirts lemon juice in your eye. Or as Jillian says... flat tire? Don't slash the other three....fix the flat and move on!

Good Afternoon! I hope this Friday finds you well.

I'm at the keyboard, about to take the dogs for a walk (my roommate has 2 of the best lab mixes out there), and my schedule is upside down today. Dinner last night ran til 11pm. The next thing I knew I was asleep on the couch at my sister's house. Dragging my sorry self home at 3am, I went back to sleep (missing the morning workout) and then went in to my old office to solve a printer problem. Yes, the place that downsized me right before Christmas... called and asked for help. (I'm unsure who I'm angrier with, them for calling, or me for responding). I was there at 9:45 with donuts, an honest smile, and the goal to be out of there before too long. I felt like a ghost, seeing my old life a month after I'd died. But I was a genuinely happy ghost. So, I'm a fool. But at least it's true to my nature.

Trainer at 3 today. Left elbow still sore. My engine is revving but I'm in neutral (possibly in Park). How does a person narrow their focus down to a laser's point? Love, hope, energy, faith, excitement, anger, talent and LIFE! Channeled correctly, the power to move mountains, yet right now, positively crackling with potential (without direction).

I think a conscious decision to relax and stand ready. Yes, that's a start.

A friend reminded me of the pain and suffering and loss in the world. I'm winging my thoughts and prayers out to the survivors of the earthquake in Haiti. Not much, but a start.

Thanks for listening.

Less turbulence in a bit...

Woody

From the Glow of the Computer Screen

First a famine, then a feast...

Okay....I was trying to think of one of the funniest things that's happened in the last few months.

Given a choice, anything that results from TRYING to look good but ends up with a clumsy finish...that's solid gold in my book. There was a time I fell down a waterfall, slapping at my face and waving my arms all about (I had walked smack dab into a spider web and saw a fuzzy something in my peripherals...yeah, thought it was a spider...ugg). or (laughing) there was the time I thought I'd try to jump over a garbage can on the sidewalk, totally flubbed it and went sprawling. Of course, doing a hand stand (ta-da!) and then splitting my pants in front of my girlfriend...well, my face never turned so red, so fast. Cool and clumsy...perfect combination for humor.

Thinking on it now, what REALLY made it funny was that my friends were right there, seeing it all unfold. Shared pain is lessened, shared joy is increased, and shared laughter... well that's just a beautiful thing.

I guess the funniest thing that happened recently was convincing my coworker back in November that the word "gullible" had indeed been removed from the dictionary. It was priceless. J's got such a good heart, she went along with it hook, line and sinker, going so far as to say: "Thank Goodness! Now when my kids tell me I'm gullible, I'll say, 'Sorry, not in the dictionary!'." We were laughing about that one for a few weeks.

On a funny/yet darker note... Yesterday, I popped up at the gym, totally scaring my friends as they were winding through a workout. I was running late, and simply "appeared" at their elbows, between the treadmills. Richard jumped about a foot in the air, and Mitch and I were howling with laughter for 3 minutes.* Poor Richard. I didn't mean to scare him that bad. It was funny, but next time, I think I'll just go with a joke about a bartender.

*this scare is second only to 2 other classic scares: my brother hid in a hamper for 20 minutes to pop out at the exact right moment. Years later, my brother-in-law hid in a closet for one of the best all-time scares around! I was in on it, and I jumped about a mile, too.

Life is tricky, no doubt about it. Thank goodness there's laughter along the way to keep things lively.

So tell me.... why was the little ant confused?

-because all of his uncles were ants.

Share a joke with a friend today. Chocolate works pretty well, too. :)

Be the Change You Want To See In the World

A good friend reminded me of this famous Gandhi quotation. It's an elegant reminder for me. I read the same quote in Memphis this last weekend, on a poster at the National Civil Rights Museum. Funny how there is so much wisdom out there in the world, and yet we're not ready for it until, well, until we're ready.

This quote makes me want to learn more, much more, about the people who've given so much to the world, stirring us to action, to care, to love... Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., Mahatma Gandhi and Mother Teresa, to name a few that've been rattling around in my head for some time. How did they cross the the gulf between Self and Service?

Ah. Here is, perhaps, a clue (also from Gandhi): “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”

In truth, this was part of the problem with the last decade in my life. I did not know myself, nor trust that I had the tools to bring about awareness (and ultimately, action). I'm starting fresh, this time with faith and a healthy appreciation for the ridiculous. To live well is to laugh often, and to humbly offer service to others.

I now have the time to study the lives and works of these humanitarians, live in a state of love, catch up on laundry and work on syncing body, mind and soul.

But next up, a lovely afternoon nap! It's the simple things, really. I fear I'm becoming hobbit-like, including the hairy toes.

More to come.

Thanks!

221 and The Sleeper Must Awaken! (Dune)

Good Morning and Fond Greetings!

I've missed you a great deal, and yet for all that, you never felt far away.

Good heavens, where to start?

I live a lucky and blessed life, and I try daily to model Isaac Singer's protagonist in the classic story "Gimpel the Fool". A loving heart, quick to laugh, slow to anger, flexible in life, sincere in forgiveness and ever ready to live in expectancy. Sometimes I even make progress in these goals! :)

It helps to be surrounded by loving family and wonderful friends.

My heart expands as my eyes open wide and Life beckons.

And it's January. Happy New Year! ha ha, have you noticed how I'm stalling for time? I feel guilty for posting so infrequently. My apologies (for the delay, and the guilt).

So.... The Sleeper Must Awaken. Great line from a great movie (Frank Herbert's DUNE). It has resonance with me. I feel as if I've been asleep for so long, and now I'm waking to discover strength, purpose, life, laughter, color in the world. Thank goodness.

The workouts continue. 2 and a half hours each morning, and I'm lucky to share time with my friends Mitch and Richard at the gym. I can count on them to be on the ellipticals each morning at 4:30, and to text me at 5:20 if I haven't appeared yet. Ellipticals, stationary bikes, treadmills, stair climbers, weight resistance and thorough stretching ensue, along with laughter and interesting conversations. 7am sees me in the pool, working on "swimming downhill" for the most efficient swim stroke possible. I feel strong and fast and alert and energized. One sore elbow, but that's coming along, too.

2010 will be a year for triathlons and multi-sport competitions.

I lost my job at the end of December. 13 years as a graphic designer. The rest of my life to follow other dreams.

Thank goodness for family, friends, full schedules and prayer.

I've never had a problem talking. I hope I can become a better listener.

last thought today: if anything matters, then everything matters.

Take care! More to come! As always, thank you for reading, and thank you for your good thoughts.

Frank

228 and Yoga Agrees With Me!

Good Afternoon!

And what a pleasure to be writing again. Well, it's been a while, about 6 weeks, and I hope this note finds you well.

As the title states, Yoga agrees with me. However, I've learned that I have poor flexibility, less balance, and I sweated out toxins during the Saturday "Yoga Marathon" to such an extent that my brother surreptitiously unrolled all the windows when I got into his car. Sorry, Tom! Next time I'll shower after class. :)

It was a real treat to be tested in a new way. I've thought often and long about ways to fill my minutes, hours, days. I've been scared that too much "downtime" would lead to the self-destructive and harmful habits that have haunted me in the past. Saturday morning found me attempting to narrow my focus to concentrating on my breath, slow and steady, in and out. In the process, I made a connection. I'm not searching to fill my calendar. I'm searching for balance. Fear need not enter the equation.

Some residue from Saturday's class remains. No, not the oily sweat (ha ha, I've showered thrice since then), but a residue of calm, a vestige of the insight. Balance need merely be sought after, attempted, refined, and enjoyed. I feel....so calm and happy right now, and full of joy. It's as if the twisting postures and the breathing and the focus and the stretching worked in harmony to wring me out, body and mind, squeezing the toxins out of my heart. I'm a clean towel again, a freshened sponge to soak up purity and laughter and love.

It's a healthy feeling. I hope it lingers a while.

I'm going back to class this Saturday.

My shoulders and neck are sore, but they've been overdue for a good cleansing for years now.

I have a lucky life, a lovely life.

Thanks for reading.


Frank