Into the Storm

Friday Afternoon - WHOSE I am

2011-06-17T13:43:00.000-07:00

Good afternoon!

The marathon was wonderful! I ran with an iPod, but listened to it only for 6 songs, all Jeremy Camp. For the better part of 4 hours, 56 minutes and 40 seconds I chose instead to listen for God among my fellow runners, the crowds cheering us on (how they buoyed my spirit at mile 20! The tears in my eyes were the most grateful tears I've ever experienced), the wind, the sun, the entirety of the day. And then, right as we started mile 22, finally turning our backs to the headwind we had experienced for the previous 6 miles, they were playing Toby Mac's "Burn for You"! What a wonderful opportunity to cry out in thankfulness with every fiber of my being (and yes, the muscle fibers were aching!). To be ALIVE and utilized for His purpose! Such a day!!!

The marathon was my prayer. And it was answered.

All else is well. Better than well, wonderful! Better even than wonderful....... BALANCED.

I'm engaged to be married with the love of my life.

I'm drawing again (my future stepdaughter asked for pages she could color, and that simple request was enough to find me returning to my sketchbooks and do that which I've been gifted to do).

I'm praying to God, and more importantly, I'm listening FOR God. I see His hand moving through my life. Funny, it's always been there. My eyes were just too caked with the dust of this world.

Have a wonderful weekend! I'll post again, and soon!

Until then, I'm glad we're friends!

Frank

(weight unkown) 3 days til the marathon

2011-05-11T08:17:00.000-07:00

Good morning.

I've been reading that restricting your overall calories is one of the best ways to lose weight and live longer. I realized that it's been a long time since I've felt hungry on a regular basis, and that came as a surprise to me. I think I'm eating too much. I'm a bit alarmed by this thought, so I'm going to experiment with calorie reduction. I'm going to cut my intake of processed foods by 50%. I don't know how this will play out, but to start with, I will eat half portions of anything that is considered a "processed" food.

My brother-in-law Matt is my height and quite a bit lighter than I am (he is around 185 most days). We both run, and I have heard him say on many occasions that the biggest boost to his weight loss (and current weight maintenance) is cutting his portions in half. There's more to the story, but that was the main point. Seeing a living example of weight loss and weight control gives me hope that I'm close to finding "a good fit" for my goals. I shall become a scientist of myself in this little journey towards healthy weight control. A 35 pound weight loss will put me at 195, a wonderful goal for my 6'4" frame.

This strategy feels correct, and I wonder where it will lead me.

Allergies are okay, though I just sneezed a bunch of times. Took my last Sudafed this morning and I will dip out at lunch to pick up some Claritin (or generic brand) at Target. I think I've had undiagnosed allergies for most of my life. I always chalked it up to "a summer cold", though they've never been severe, just irritating.

Did I tell you that I'm running this marathon without an iPod? In my mind, this is akin to announcing I'm running barefoot! I've come to learn that when I run without headphones I am much more in tune with my surroundings, the crowd, my body and my heart. I slip into prayer as I run, and my mind just kind of drifts away. It's like an "out of body" experience, but very much "in the body" too. I wonder what prayers I will offer up to God. This might be the best time to quiet my requests and instead practice my listening skills. I guess we'll see. 3-1/2 days away.

Take care. Thanks for stopping by today. I hope your week is a sweet one.

Frank

(229.5#) 117 Hours Until the Marathon

2011-05-10T08:28:00.000-07:00

GOOD MORNING!!!!

Spring is here, and my heart cries out with elation and joy!

Seriously, this is one of the best payoffs for living in the Midwest.... spring and summer!!! We're 20 days til the pools open, 5 days til the marathon, and RIGHT NOW for good weather!!!

I hope this note finds you well. I'm on a mission... I'm cleaning house (internally) and knocking out everything on my immediate to-do lists. I'm focused at work and I'm reconnecting with friends and loved ones. I'm praying for my enemies and "sitting in stillness" early in the mornings... listening for God.

I'll tell you what, I find it EXTREMELY easy to pray, aka: TALKING to God, but it is a challenge for me to meditate, aka: LISTEN to God. My men's Bible study group has challenged me last night to go to God with an "open hand", offering full submission to His will for the direction of my Life. Wow. That's a challenge, for I REALLY like control, and submitting to God would be a conscious release of that control.

It's actually a tougher challenge than the upcoming 26.2 miles.

But I'm willing and ready.

I can't do this alone.

I don't want to do this alone.

I want God in my life as the captain of my soul, and I will happily go where He leads me. Through Him all things are possible, including the transformation of my wayward soul.

I started this blog because I wanted to lose weight. Today I'm looking to be released of my heart's heaviest burden, the extreme weight of my ego.

Please Lord, release me from my ego, and release me from my desire for control and independence from You.

Let my life be a living sacrifice for You.

This Sunday's run will be a run of joy and gratitude. Let every fiber of my being cry out in exultation of your Word!

Mold me, guide me, direct me. Let my loved ones see Your love shining through me.

Make me a channel of Your peace.

And together, let's run!

Have a great day! Sketches coming soon!

Frank

Letter to a Friend

2011-05-06T12:21:00.000-07:00

Good afternoon, my Friend.

You are... without a doubt, without a SINGLE DOUBT IN MY MIND, you are a surprise, a pleasure, and a joy! I hope this letter finds you well.

and HAPPY FRIDAY!!

Today, I am grateful for your place in my life.  I can't wait to see you. I just want to give you a big fat hug, swing you around in the air and thank you for being YOU! I'm serious! You've been a wonderful friend to me, and a total lifesaver! Kind of like my secret "in-case-of-TRUE-emergency-I'm-here-for-you" person. You're my big guns, my honest surprise and such a delight! I'm saying a prayer of gratitude for you right now. I look forward to seeing you, laughing and sharing stories together. You've reminded me that I belong to God... anything good that's come from me has been a result of the love and time you've invested.  We are a chain of hearts, linked by love and devotion, prayer and worship.

It seems as if there was a rough patch for the past couple weeks, as if I had lost my focus. Prayer and faith carried me through, and here I am with a new, calmer heart. "I can do all things in Him who strengthens me." God just wants us to trust Him with whatever we have. He wants us to know Him, love Him, and put everything on Him. All I want to do is (as Liz Gilbert so eloquently put it) "Search for God like a man whose hair is on fire will search for water". Last Sunday's run was my longest training run, 20 miles. Out of everything that came from that run, do you know what meant the most to me? The last 2 miles. I turned off the iPod and just spent those 2 miles praying and giving thanks for the life God gave me, the air in my lungs, the strength to run and the heart to pump, eyes to see and enjoy this little corner of Creation. :) Those last 2 miles were effortless. I was carried on a wave of prayer and gratitude, and the running was a perfect vehicle for worship. This upcoming marathon will be a prayer said with every muscle, every breath, every fiber of my being. It may have taken 37 years to come back to God, but I'm back, and I'm smiling. There will be a day when we're all together, laughing and smiling and filled with joy untinctured with pain. (and yes, I think this is the FIRST time in my life I've ever had the opportunity to actually USE the word "untinctured". You bring out the Scrabble scholar in me.)

This life is truly a transformative journey, and I am daily encouraged by the progress of our souls. And now, may I offer a bit of advice? Continue to trust your instincts. You're strong in your faith. Continue to quiet your inner voice, and continue to make a space for God to indwell within your heart. Focus on the people and experiences that expand your heart and heal your soul. As the messages from the Virgin Mary say, so I repeat here: Pray, Fast, and Repent. Make it part of your daily life. And continue to send energy, love and light to those that need it, but use care to protect yourself from any emotional blackholes.*

*side note: have you ever noticed how some people seem to have quite a bit of bad luck, as if they've got a gray cloud over their head? I fall for this often... thinking the "storm clouds" are results of bad luck, bad relationships, checkered pasts, etc, I find myself trying to support and uplift them. More often than not it becomes clear that no matter the reason the clouds first appeared, these people maintain the "victim mentality", going so far as to have their egos identify with the pain as part of their own identity!!! yuck! These people end up sucking the energy of those souls who come in contact with them, and they allow their pain and misery to define them!!! Personally, I distance myself physcially, and pray for them privately. I pray for a space to be created within, so that the Holy Spirit rushes in and fills them with sunlight, peace, and happiness. It's all I know how to do in order to keep myself safe, yet also share God's Love. Things in this Life can shake us to our very cores... and leave us with deep wounds. You must get right with God to heal the hurt inside. Until that happens, a soul can't move forward.

Have I told you that I see you as a living example of Christ's love? You do indeed have a happy soul, and I suspect you were made on a special day in Heaven.

(deep sigh)

wow. I honestly wasn't intending to write today. I woke with a bit of a headache and the feeling of "tunnel vision" (aka: cue the opening bars of NERVOUS BEFORE THE BIG RUN). I thought today was just going to be a day to "get through it quietly". Ha! My soul is awake now! My eyes are bright and the weather outside promises a perfect opportunity for a good tapering run after work. I'm thinking 7-10 miles. I guess we'll just see what I've got in the tank. It's becoming less about the run and more about the quiet time in my soul. I can hardly wait!

Now get out there and have a GREAT weekend! HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!   In between times of meditation I'm currently reading and listening to Caroline Myss, Elizabeth Gilbert, T. Colin Campbell (The China Study), Jillian Michaels, the Gospel of John, Anthony Robbins, and, of course, my daily Calvin and Hobbes!

Thanks for reading this post. I've come to learn that these notes serve as a working diary for me, illuminating the journey and the miles traveled.  It's also become a reminder of not only WHO we are, but WHOSE we are.

Thank you for calling out the best in me!

Your Dear Friend,
Frank

(228.5#) The Sun is Shining Everywhere

2011-05-04T07:42:00.000-07:00

Good morning!

There are some things in Life that are completely worth the price. I love the opportunities to trade a few hours of sleep for reconnecting with friends and family, sharing laughter and relationship. And the cost? A couple zzzzs, a rush to get to work in the morning (with a quick face scrub in the sink instead of a shower), and a promise to "get better" on this whole getting to work/balancing Life thing.

Life is good, and I'm feeling both lucky and blessed. Money is tight but the constriction around my heart has loosened (a poetic constriction, that is).

The marathon is 11 days, and I finally feel ready. I managed to find my way back onto a course of training that feels right for me, and 3 days ago I ran my longest training run of 20 miles. Took 4 hours and 45 minutes. I stretched a lot, drank a lot, listened to a lot of music, ran past two full Little League games, prayed and offered gratitude to God and found my way forward again. I've got 26.2 miles within me. I not only believe that now, but I OWN it. :)

Have a great day! We're alive, and we've been blessed with this opportunity. Make the most of it.

Frank

(227.5#) So Many Personal Deficiencies

2011-04-27T07:54:00.000-07:00

Good morning.

I ended up getting into a giant fight with my girlfriend last night, over the issue of whether I have her back on things. We argue fairly regularly, and boy does it feel healthy. Nothing like a juicy argument to keep the love lines open. However, they don't always come at convenient times. And darn it, she's right. I haven't had her back on things. I've disrespected our relationship and disrespected her. Time to change.

So I stayed up too late, wound up too tight, worried, stressed, argumentative and apologetic, and I overslept and missed my morning run. *#&*%$&#!!!! I'm at work, and I'm angry at myself (for what I lack), angry with her (for calling out the best in me), full of acid and feeling headachey.

On the plus side, I didn't eat breakfast. I just stomped out of the apartment this morning, without taking any food.

That'll show her.

(yes, I realize how this sounds)

Wow. Stupid ego of mine. Really likes to louse things up when threatened. I'm standing FAR BACK from my ego on this one. yes. Time to change, and time to pray.

as for the running....I'll run tonight, instead of playing volleyball with my friends. Or maybe I'll run, and then go cheer my friends on. That sounds reasonable. 17 days away. This friggin' marathon is revealing a lot of my personal deficiencies, not the least of which includes poor time management, lack of ownership of my decisions, weak character and poor follow through. yay. WHY did I start running?

But even in the midst of feeling crummy, used, and abused, I still think that without a doubt I have a lovely life. These are nice problems to have. I may not enjoy having to face personal deficiencies in my character, but the opportunity to grow beyond them? Priceless. I hope I can overcome my toughest opponent.

Lord, please wash away my iniquities. Reveal the man inside, and let true character be revealed and strengthened. My ego....please burn it to ash and let it be carried away on a sweet summer breeze.

Take care! This ranks up there as one of my most heartfelt (and personally annoying) posts to date.
Frank

(226 pounds) Formerly Fat & Slow, Finally Ready to Go!

2011-04-26T09:06:00.000-07:00

Good morning!

I did it! A 5 mile run last night! Unremarkable time of 58:57, but I'm happy all the same (even if I DID feel fat and slow and imagined I had a bellyful of potatoes jostling around). My previous run was last Wednesday, and it's true what they say about losing the edge if you have too many rest days between workouts. 18 days til the marathon. I'm going to allow just a single rest day between runs from here on out.

To that end, I'm taking today off and I'll log my 10 mile run tomorrow morning starting at 5am. And for THAT to happen, I need to be in bed by 9pm tonight.

Which leads to today's dilemma, or what I like to refer to as "a nice problem to have."

I can pop over to my friend's house for an evening of watching "The Biggest Loser" (including lots of good food and snarky comments). I can also spend the night at home getting our apartment in order (including the folding and sorting of 3 baskets of clean laundry).

I'm going to stay at home. My girlfriend's 2-1/2 year old daughter will be with us tonight, and she's such a fun little girl, I want to take the night to straighten up the house and play with her til she falls asleep with a big happy smile on her face. Too often it seems like she's subjected to our schedule and our timelines (last night we brought her to the childcare at the gym during our quick run -- I think she really just wanted to stay home and run around in circles and knock things over and generally be a cute toddler in her own home, covering us with crazy hugs and kisses).

As I said, nice problems to have. :)

Food and nutrition are going well, and I'm journaling my meals again (my little food diary is next to the computer here).  I don't know why, but as long as I write down what I'm eating I become very conscious of the quality and amount of food, and better control seems to almost naturally take place. I feel greatly relieved when that happens. It seems like an extraordinarily positive result for something that is relatively easy to do (every time I eat something, I write it down in my book).

My faith life continues to mature. The lesson that came before me this morning was accepting that God's Love is greater than my decisions. I can love without an agenda. What a relief! I've been stressing as to how I can be a good disciple to others, relaying God's message of hope and love, and all without passing judgement or "muddying the message" with my own ego and its opinions. "Love without agenda, and leave the rest to the Holy Spirit" is a wonderful message, especially as it elegantly released me from trying to control everything.

That's been my day so far.  I hope your Tuesday is off to a great start.

Take care,
Frank

(230#?) I Think I'm Worried

2011-04-25T12:50:00.000-07:00

I'm getting nervous.

My first marathon is 19 days away and I seem to have lost interest in running.

well, I've lost interest in my training guide, at least.

Tonight's a running night. I have no idea what I can summon from within, but it feels like a perfect opportunity to "turn this wayward bus around".

I'M SCARED OF RUNNING POORLY.

hmmm. Just typing that has made me feel a bit better. As if I've called out the fear and given it actual (instead of imagined) dimensions.

it's just running.

I think I'll run the "long run week" this week. That means 5 miles today after work, 10 tomorrow morning (before work), rest on Wednesday, 5 on Thursday morning, and then 20 miles on Saturday (outside, weather permitting). If I can log this week's miles (40 miles total) I'll be writing a VERY different post next Monday. :)

19 days to go.

alright..... how does this thing go? oh yeah...... left foot, right foot.....

Have a nice night! I'll report back tomorrow!
Frank

(227.5#) Good Friday

2011-04-22T07:31:00.000-07:00

...let's not forget our roots.

I'm cleaning the kitchen.

I gained back some of the weight, but it feels right (and I'm lighter than the 229 of 2 days ago). I ate late last night and I would do better to stick to an early(earlier) bedtime.

My investigations are ranging between our food supply, the authenticity of Christ, self realization and our call to achieve our full potential. oh yeah, and training for a marathon, making a serious attempt to shake loose the yoke of fast food, and becoming a more organized person in my personal life.

Out of everything going on, the biggest question seems to be whether to train (run) with an iPod. I love the music and the stories, but running in silence creates a meditative experience for me. I'm going to continue to leave the iPod at home and sit in the silence, instead.

Have a great day! Gotta get back to the dishes.

Frank

(223) Create an Indwelling for God

2011-04-21T06:56:00.000-07:00

(from a letter to a friend)
please Please PLEASE

Be sure to keep God first.

It's crucial to be clear on the intent behind our actions and thoughts. Intent is key. Are you living your life for God's glory, or for your own?

Keep God first.

and then pour everything into Him, your worries, your stress, your fears and all the things that keep you feeling isolated and alone. God wants you to seek only Him, and to give over all distractions to Him.

A favorite line of mine is: "Search for God the way that a man whose hair is on fire will search for water."

This material world will fade away. It's an illusion. I'm coming to learn that the most important thing we can do is create an indwelling for God in our hearts, so that our family, our friends, and all who meet and interact with us can experience God's love shining through us.

You have been given a good and kind heart, and a spirit that can discern many things. Keep searching for God, and keep Him first in every way.

I'm proud of you.

...for the record, I also find "Keeping God First" to be a personal challenge.

I haven't shared this before, but....I visualize my life force, my ki, my spirit, as a powerful and formless energy. It rises out of the back of my neck like wild kundalini energy. I focus on a person and direct my energy to them. I basically "think it" on its way and my spirit hurtles through time and space to those whom I've asked it to support, comfort, energize and celebrate. It responds to love (expands, actually), and this visualization is a key element in lifting me out of the concerns and fears (and limitations) of the ego.

The thing is, I don't know if I'm doing this for God's glory, or for my own.

I'd like to think I'm treating this ability as a faithful steward. However, the "pretty lights and neon fireworks" of untamed kundalini energy racing out of my body is very cool to picture, and the accompanying thought that "I'm doing good and important works of love and charity" distracts me from the essential point. It's as if the ego wants to slide in and take credit for God's gifts. And then I recall that the ego's purpose is not to support us, but rather to keep us cut off and feeling separate from God and the rest of Creation. When I step back from my ego and it's narrow definition of "self" (an easy mental picture of standing above and behind a fussy child), then I feel as if I'm finally touching on my inner divinity. Keeping it real, as it were (which is funny, considering we're talking about formless thoughts designed to remind us of our interconnectedness to all things).

May God find fertile soil and take root within my heart.

That's my thought for the day.

On the "illusory" side of things, I ran 10 miles last night on the treadmill! Woo Hoo! I feel reconnected and back on track with the marathon training (only 23 days til the big race). I also dropped close to 7 pounds overnight! Mostly fluids, I suspect, but a 2nd successful night of ceasing to eat after 7:30 might have made a difference in the total amount. I'm donating blood tonight, so tonight will be a rest day from running, and the post-donation Oreos will be a sweet treat!

6 cookies, slightly stale, but delicious all the same.

Everything in moderation. Except for God. Can't get enough of Him in my life! And for that, I am truly grateful!

Namaste
Frank

(229) and Soaring High

2011-04-20T10:15:00.000-07:00

(my prayer for the day)

Good afternoon, my friend!

It's been much too long. Sit down by the fire, warm your hands and have a cup of tea as we break bread and enjoy each other's company.

It is SO GOOD to be alive, isn't it? I find myself with 24 days until my first marathon and feeling newly focused on the daily running goals (10 miles tonight). I'm one day into a (mostly) plant-based diet with the intent to be a better steward of the body I've been entrusted. I'm overjoyed that I'm writing again! It's lunchtime, and that means crisp spinach, red peppers, rice and beans (along with some chicken; this is a careful transition from my old ways).

in a larger view...
I find myself with more challenges and less money, an unknown future yet greater faith. It's a wonderful combination. For through God all things are possible, and inviting Jesus to indwell within us, why, that just opens up eternity! No wonder I'm laughing so much these days. I feel like the Holy Spirit has just been waiting for me to open the door. Why do we give so much of ourselves over to Fear? No longer... I have recognized my ego and its limitations. I choose instead to soar through the skies, free and light and alive.

And so here I sit, faithful, content, at ease, and also refreshed, renewed and restored. It's going to be a lovely life, lived with eyes and heart wide open.

Thank you. My life is so much more interesting with you in it. More to come.
Frank

(219) not a lot to say today

2010-08-24T07:22:00.000-07:00

Good morning.

The spinach is vibrant and nourishing, and the coffee has just kicked in. I'm listening to the soundtrack from Star Wars (A New Hope) and admiring the genius of John Williams.

I'm tired and hoping that I'll make more time for sleep.

Faith, sleep, exercise. When those pillars are in place, anything is possible.

Back soon. :)

(222#) Be In the World, But Not Of the World

2010-08-20T06:35:00.000-07:00

Good morning.

Would that be the correct phrasing? "Be in the world, but not of it."

There are times I find it truly remarkable how blind I've been. Almost as if I were sleepwalking through the first half of my life. I'm not disrespectful of the trials and tribulations, joys and wonderful encounters that have been sprinkled upon the thread of my life, and yet there seems to be so much more substance to the nature of things lately. This is life, and it's definitely worth living.

And so this sunny Friday begins with the promise of blue skies and bright eyes. I will be mindful of my thoughts, for they create my universe and determine destiny. I will be in the world, but not of it. After all, aren't we actually infinite and unlimited energy, interconnected with everything and yet temporarily bound in these corporeal forms? What a wonderful opportunity to consciously bring our very best to one other. :)

I hope you're well. I've missed you.
Namaste,
Frank

Something I've come to learn about you...

2010-02-18T12:37:00.000-08:00

My dear friend,

I hope this email finds you well. I'm typing this note next to my bedroom window. The sky is a gorgeous light blue, and the sun is both bright and hopeful. I think this is the best day of the month so far.

We've had the opportunity to discuss character, and specifically, what makes us tick. If you'll allow me the indulgence, I'd like to elaborate a bit more on this topic.

You were created on a very special day. The angels cried and laughed with joy. One of their own was going to be human, and never before had a soul such as yours existed. It was a truly remarkable day. You have a heart big enough to love the world, and eyes that see with great kindness. Your ears hear the words behind the words, and your hands are the hands of a healer.

You have also been given great gifts: ample strength, an inquisitive mind, a generous heart and a restless soul. You have walked many weary miles down dark, torturous roads, challenged persistently on your character and your faith. For all of that, you have come through to the other side both stronger and kinder. It seems to me that you've flown through the eye of a needle. All things unnecessary to your character have been burned away, revealing the light and strength inside.

You caught my eye with your beauty, and yet it was your spirit that has held my heart. I am grateful for all that has passed to bring you into my life.

I am compelled to remind you that your character was made for a purpose. You were meant to shine forth, be a Messenger, and to live in (and freely give) Abundance.

The challenges before you are numerous and draining. You have the option to deny your basic character, to live a life below your talents and abilities, to "hide your light under a bushel" and live with a diminished spirit. There are advantages to this choice: a secure life, few surprises, the only challenge to "tow the line". You could live through and for your children, and hope that they would not see the growing emptiness inside, the "hollowing out" of your soul, all life removed... replaced with only a flickering light.

Please don't deny your spirit. It is a thing of beauty and it is limitless in its capacity to heal and inspire. Set it free and spend the coming days learning who you are, and bask in the love that created and sustains you. Love has never diminished...it is merely our awareness of love that changes.

You are a strong and loving person, with a heart big enough for the world, and you were meant for great things. Please don't turn away from yourself. The reserves are spent, and the tanks are nearly empty, but take the time to allow them to refill and for your soul to recharge. It will blaze forth anew and be a beacon to many.

My vision is not great, but I can recognize beauty. Yours is a beautiful spirit, and I'm asking you to be no more than (or less than) your own sweet self.

This is something I've come to learn about you, and it's reminded me of the magic in the world. Thank you!

Actual Insight and Really Nice Hair

2010-01-25T17:40:00.000-08:00

I hope this note finds you well.

A piece of my Life's puzzle fell into place today. It was revealed to me, and I pray that I may have the love, strength, patience and cleverness to see my way through to the other shore.

Thank goodness for faith, family and friends. All those Fs.

Along with that, I was reminded that I have a nice head of hair, especially when it's cut well.

Lucky life, full of challenges and hope.

We'll talk soon.

In gratitude,

216 and Fully Hydrated! (aka: the Loneliest Workout, the Best Sleep)

2010-01-21T07:51:00.000-08:00

Hey hey, good morning!

Something is in the air. Nearly everyone I've spoken with today is in a good mood! I love these chance moments, like we're all gears, and we've all just aligned for awhile, in synch, meshed beautifully, eyes shining and hopeful.

I slept the sleep of the very innocent last night, awake and alert at the first alarm. My roommate's puppy, Maddie, was nestled by my feet and quite content to be gently pet for a few minutes. A slow and steady rising to the surface of wakefulness is an ideal start to my day.

Made it to the gym early! 4:15 and time to visit my friend Jim, working the front counter. We enjoyed catching up (my early morning appearances have been inconsistent this week), and a few minutes later I was on the first machine of the day, an elliptical that has been a long time favorite.

Best laid plans.... so I was early on the ONE DAY when my two workout friends did NOT make it to the gym! Mitch is nursing a post-vacation cold and Richard was on his 2nd cup of "I'm not working out today" coffee when he answered my text. Ugh! Narcissist that I am (business card is a mirror, ha ha), how can they point out my marvelousness if they're not there to compliment the early arrival?

You know, it's time I let go of the whole "me, me, look at me" mentality. It's an old outfit that no longer suits me. The laws of Nature will support this in favor of my goal to be more service-oriented....create a vacuum in your life, and the Universe will rush in to fill the void. :)

Today is shaping up to be full and rich with varied characters throughout the coming hours. Laundry to walk, puppies to fold, salad to shred, paperwork to eat, and then a call with my coach, racquetball with a friend, dinner with family and hopefully lots and lots of laughter along the way. I also need to update my resume again and apply for more job openings. I have no doubt there'll be lots of great emails today, and with luck, some good insight. I like coffee, but I LOVE insights.

I'm lucky and blessed for all that's come into my life. Thanks for being part of that.

Take care! May today be a mix of luck and humor for you!
Frank

p.s. I swam into the wall yesterday in the first 25 yards of swim class (triathlon training). So focused on breathing, keeping hips up, shoulders down, kicking gently and thinking smooth thoughts.... I swam right smack dab into the edge of the pool, headfirst! Ouch! And yet, weren't we just on the topic of physical injuries (clumsiness) being one of the best elements for humor? It was worth the all-day headache to be able to laugh about it today.

(219) Do you make your own luck?

2010-01-19T12:23:00.001-08:00

Hi there!

Happy Tuesday!

Completely exhausted but about to catch an afternoon nap. It's a beautiful day outside, 36 degrees with a hint of spring in the air.

I think we make our own Luck.

A friend suggested I pray for guidance with the challenges set before me. Good advice.

Today's workout was solid, even though it was without having any sleep beforehand. Richard thought today was a good day for 45 minutes on the stair climber. Felt like penance, but it's raised the bar, moving forward.

Take care. More when I'm coherent. Today there is a strong feeling of Serendipity.

ser⋅en⋅dip⋅i⋅ty

–noun

1.	an aptitude for making desirable discoveries by accident.

2.	good fortune; luck: the serendipity of getting the first job she applied for.

I was distracted by the messenger...

2010-01-18T12:42:00.001-08:00

...and what a lovely distraction she was.

It's taken time, longer than I would have guessed (when it comes to love, I'll linger a moment more), yet here we are, clear minds and open hearts. It took a while to separate my affection for a friend from the joy in the direction she was pointing me towards. A slight misstep in an important neuro-association, but an easily-remedied error.

Did I mention that my thoughts and actions are a poor translation of the incredible love and service of my parents? "If you think I'm nice, this is NOTHING compared to my Mom and Dad...". Such a bittersweet admission, but the clue on how to rise above what I've done until now is buried within that statement.

On a different note, we learned last week how to slow our heartbeats in the pool. Bob up and down with the rhythm of the water and we quickly get tuned into something larger than ourselves. In a wider sense, the same is happening elsewhere and everywhere in my daily life. There is a growing sense of Calm.

I pray it's Compassion, not Indifference, that has entered my life.

Time will tell.*

*my sincere apologies....this particular line causes a justifiable eye-roll with one of my friends. And yet, it is STILL the best line for this occasion.

There are very few absolutes in Life, and I absolutely believe that.

Thanks for reading this.
Woody

(217) Seven is an Auspicious Number

2010-01-18T12:08:00.000-08:00

Walked into the gym at 7am.

7th child from a loving family.

7 loads of laundry to wash and fold today.

I'm stumped on more at the moment.

It's been a beautiful, thoughtful morning.

The way is being cleared. I have no idea what's coming, or how I'll be called, but my next steps are clear: listen, love and laugh.

I've added "practice yoga" to this list. Flexibility will be needed.

Two thoughts for today:

Thank you for what you've given me.

Subtle energies are ever at work.

Frank

(weight unknown) I could've been an 80's rock lyricist

2010-01-15T11:06:00.000-08:00

"My efforts are half-hearted and wasted. I give in to despair and float on an ocean of pain under a melting sun. Hope is a cool blue raft upon which I lie, eyes closed and dreaming of rain."

wow. Solid gold lyrics there. ha! So Life squirts lemon juice in your eye. Or as Jillian says... flat tire? Don't slash the other three....fix the flat and move on!

Good Afternoon! I hope this Friday finds you well.

I'm at the keyboard, about to take the dogs for a walk (my roommate has 2 of the best lab mixes out there), and my schedule is upside down today. Dinner last night ran til 11pm. The next thing I knew I was asleep on the couch at my sister's house. Dragging my sorry self home at 3am, I went back to sleep (missing the morning workout) and then went in to my old office to solve a printer problem. Yes, the place that downsized me right before Christmas... called and asked for help. (I'm unsure who I'm angrier with, them for calling, or me for responding). I was there at 9:45 with donuts, an honest smile, and the goal to be out of there before too long. I felt like a ghost, seeing my old life a month after I'd died. But I was a genuinely happy ghost. So, I'm a fool. But at least it's true to my nature.

Trainer at 3 today. Left elbow still sore. My engine is revving but I'm in neutral (possibly in Park). How does a person narrow their focus down to a laser's point? Love, hope, energy, faith, excitement, anger, talent and LIFE! Channeled correctly, the power to move mountains, yet right now, positively crackling with potential (without direction).

I think a conscious decision to relax and stand ready. Yes, that's a start.

A friend reminded me of the pain and suffering and loss in the world. I'm winging my thoughts and prayers out to the survivors of the earthquake in Haiti. Not much, but a start.

Thanks for listening.

Less turbulence in a bit...

Woody

From the Glow of the Computer Screen

2010-01-14T14:57:00.001-08:00

First a famine, then a feast...

Okay....I was trying to think of one of the funniest things that's happened in the last few months.

Given a choice, anything that results from TRYING to look good but ends up with a clumsy finish...that's solid gold in my book. There was a time I fell down a waterfall, slapping at my face and waving my arms all about (I had walked smack dab into a spider web and saw a fuzzy something in my peripherals...yeah, thought it was a spider...ugg). or (laughing) there was the time I thought I'd try to jump over a garbage can on the sidewalk, totally flubbed it and went sprawling. Of course, doing a hand stand (ta-da!) and then splitting my pants in front of my girlfriend...well, my face never turned so red, so fast. Cool and clumsy...perfect combination for humor.

Thinking on it now, what REALLY made it funny was that my friends were right there, seeing it all unfold. Shared pain is lessened, shared joy is increased, and shared laughter... well that's just a beautiful thing.

I guess the funniest thing that happened recently was convincing my coworker back in November that the word "gullible" had indeed been removed from the dictionary. It was priceless. J's got such a good heart, she went along with it hook, line and sinker, going so far as to say: "Thank Goodness! Now when my kids tell me I'm gullible, I'll say, 'Sorry, not in the dictionary!'." We were laughing about that one for a few weeks.

On a funny/yet darker note... Yesterday, I popped up at the gym, totally scaring my friends as they were winding through a workout. I was running late, and simply "appeared" at their elbows, between the treadmills. Richard jumped about a foot in the air, and Mitch and I were howling with laughter for 3 minutes.* Poor Richard. I didn't mean to scare him that bad. It was funny, but next time, I think I'll just go with a joke about a bartender.

*this scare is second only to 2 other classic scares: my brother hid in a hamper for 20 minutes to pop out at the exact right moment. Years later, my brother-in-law hid in a closet for one of the best all-time scares around! I was in on it, and I jumped about a mile, too.

Life is tricky, no doubt about it. Thank goodness there's laughter along the way to keep things lively.

So tell me.... why was the little ant confused?

-because all of his uncles were ants.

Share a joke with a friend today. Chocolate works pretty well, too. :)

Be the Change You Want To See In the World

2010-01-14T11:40:00.001-08:00

A good friend reminded me of this famous Gandhi quotation. It's an elegant reminder for me. I read the same quote in Memphis this last weekend, on a poster at the National Civil Rights Museum. Funny how there is so much wisdom out there in the world, and yet we're not ready for it until, well, until we're ready.

This quote makes me want to learn more, much more, about the people who've given so much to the world, stirring us to action, to care, to love... Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., Mahatma Gandhi and Mother Teresa, to name a few that've been rattling around in my head for some time. How did they cross the the gulf between Self and Service?

Ah. Here is, perhaps, a clue (also from Gandhi): “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”

In truth, this was part of the problem with the last decade in my life. I did not know myself, nor trust that I had the tools to bring about awareness (and ultimately, action). I'm starting fresh, this time with faith and a healthy appreciation for the ridiculous. To live well is to laugh often, and to humbly offer service to others.

I now have the time to study the lives and works of these humanitarians, live in a state of love, catch up on laundry and work on syncing body, mind and soul.

But next up, a lovely afternoon nap! It's the simple things, really. I fear I'm becoming hobbit-like, including the hairy toes.

More to come.

Thanks!

221 and The Sleeper Must Awaken! (Dune)

2010-01-14T08:36:00.000-08:00

Good Morning and Fond Greetings!

I've missed you a great deal, and yet for all that, you never felt far away.

Good heavens, where to start?

I live a lucky and blessed life, and I try daily to model Isaac Singer's protagonist in the classic story "Gimpel the Fool". A loving heart, quick to laugh, slow to anger, flexible in life, sincere in forgiveness and ever ready to live in expectancy. Sometimes I even make progress in these goals! :)

It helps to be surrounded by loving family and wonderful friends.

My heart expands as my eyes open wide and Life beckons.

And it's January. Happy New Year! ha ha, have you noticed how I'm stalling for time? I feel guilty for posting so infrequently. My apologies (for the delay, and the guilt).

So.... The Sleeper Must Awaken. Great line from a great movie (Frank Herbert's DUNE). It has resonance with me. I feel as if I've been asleep for so long, and now I'm waking to discover strength, purpose, life, laughter, color in the world. Thank goodness.

The workouts continue. 2 and a half hours each morning, and I'm lucky to share time with my friends Mitch and Richard at the gym. I can count on them to be on the ellipticals each morning at 4:30, and to text me at 5:20 if I haven't appeared yet. Ellipticals, stationary bikes, treadmills, stair climbers, weight resistance and thorough stretching ensue, along with laughter and interesting conversations. 7am sees me in the pool, working on "swimming downhill" for the most efficient swim stroke possible. I feel strong and fast and alert and energized. One sore elbow, but that's coming along, too.

2010 will be a year for triathlons and multi-sport competitions.

I lost my job at the end of December. 13 years as a graphic designer. The rest of my life to follow other dreams.

Thank goodness for family, friends, full schedules and prayer.

I've never had a problem talking. I hope I can become a better listener.

last thought today: if anything matters, then everything matters.

Take care! More to come! As always, thank you for reading, and thank you for your good thoughts.

Frank

228 and Yoga Agrees With Me!

2009-11-16T09:33:00.000-08:00

Good Afternoon!

And what a pleasure to be writing again. Well, it's been a while, about 6 weeks, and I hope this note finds you well.

As the title states, Yoga agrees with me. However, I've learned that I have poor flexibility, less balance, and I sweated out toxins during the Saturday "Yoga Marathon" to such an extent that my brother surreptitiously unrolled all the windows when I got into his car. Sorry, Tom! Next time I'll shower after class. :)

It was a real treat to be tested in a new way. I've thought often and long about ways to fill my minutes, hours, days. I've been scared that too much "downtime" would lead to the self-destructive and harmful habits that have haunted me in the past. Saturday morning found me attempting to narrow my focus to concentrating on my breath, slow and steady, in and out. In the process, I made a connection. I'm not searching to fill my calendar. I'm searching for balance. Fear need not enter the equation.

Some residue from Saturday's class remains. No, not the oily sweat (ha ha, I've showered thrice since then), but a residue of calm, a vestige of the insight. Balance need merely be sought after, attempted, refined, and enjoyed. I feel....so calm and happy right now, and full of joy. It's as if the twisting postures and the breathing and the focus and the stretching worked in harmony to wring me out, body and mind, squeezing the toxins out of my heart. I'm a clean towel again, a freshened sponge to soak up purity and laughter and love.

It's a healthy feeling. I hope it lingers a while.

I'm going back to class this Saturday.

My shoulders and neck are sore, but they've been overdue for a good cleansing for years now.

I have a lucky life, a lovely life.

Thanks for reading.

Frank

221 - Bright Eyed and Bushy Tailed

2009-10-05T14:37:00.000-07:00

Band of Horses! Excellent music! I highly recommend it! 2 songs in particular.... The General Specific and The Great Salt Lake. Somber and melancholic. Mmmm, good! Have some upbeat music nearby, as it makes for a good combo.

Next up, HELLO! My good friends, how I've missed you! It's Monday, nearly 5pm, the work is spilling over my desk and the future is bright! So much to talk about, for now let me say that my weight is hovering around 220, the workload is very busy right now, and that we've moved from outdoor sand to indoor hard court volleyball. My snazzy blue volleyball shoes are the highlight of my court time, and passing to the setter remains ever on my mind.

In lieu of hard running, I've hit the pool with 2 new Spandex swimsuits and a great pair of goggles. I'm attempting to build quiet time and meditation into my daily routine, but let me caution you about meditation. Not the best to do when swimming. I ran into the wall the other day. "The resting place of the mind is the heart." Lord, I could use a quiet mind, some rest, thoughtful prayer and meditation.

Anyways, Life is good and full of surprises. Be gentle with your family and friends, and show them how you care. The only thing that has been neglected is my paperwork, but a quiet evening after volleyball will see me right with the one pressing bill, a parking citation. :)

Take care! Back with a more coherent story. Perhaps the bidet incident in Las Vegas....

Thanks!
Frank

219.5 (42.5) ...with his back to the window he typed

2009-09-10T08:16:00.000-07:00

Good morning!

Ever find yourself a bit tired, working steadily through your morning tasks, on the verge of the unknown and a bit hungry to boot?

to all those who feel the same, I raise my water glass and salute you.... Happy Thursday!

So I'm just a drop under 220 pounds this morning. At 6'4" that's a good number. A GREAT number considering at the height of my inattentive folly I was a whopping 255 pounds... an eighth of a ton! "Clinically Obese". Those two words spurred me on to join Weight Watchers (which led to my current love of broccoli!), prompted me to join Bally's (another love discovered... the elliptical!), and eventually led me to a book that resonated with me.... The 9 Truths about Weight Loss (Dr. Daniel Kirschenbaum, I believe). I'll tell you what...you wanna change something in your life? JOURNAL! Write it down. Mull it over, let things percolate and simmer and develop over time. Journaling has kept me very aware of what I'm putting in my mouth (and how MUCH!) and that, journaling above all else, above exercise, nutrition, sleep,.... JOURNALING HAS CHANGED MY LIFE!

And so today's post is a note of gratitude for this online blog. This meets my need to share and be recognized, along with my goal to keep track of things. I felt like I was hurling headlong into a tempest last year, out of control, lost and wild. Small steps, daily and consistent and healthy, have helped me find my way again. Good sleep, eating green, keeping my heart open and my words honest. These, with journaling, have saved my life.

I don't expect my problems to be solved. I would just prefer more interesting challenges as time goes on. With a little luck, some love and a lot of laughter, I'll get there. Thanks for walking along beside me. Keeps things fresh.

Take care,
Frank

214 (37 pounds to go) - A Beautiful Dream & Wide Awake

2009-09-03T11:53:00.000-07:00

214 pounds!

Every other time I've made it down to this weight, I felt as if it were from running at break-neck speed for far too long, completely exhausted, winded, and out of my mind. For the first time, I'm here, calm and breathing free and easy, wide awake in the middle of a lovely dream!

I KNOW it's not just about the number on the scale! Everything is tingling with life, vitality and energy, and I'm just so grateful to have lived to see this day! Life is such a surprise, especially when you least expect it.

I wonder what is just up ahead, around the bend. And yet, I'm perfectly happy enjoying the lovely scenery today.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. I hope the day surprises you in a small (and wonderful) way.

Frank

215.5 (38.5) The Golden Ring Is Getting Closer (and it's NOT an Onion Ring!)

2009-09-02T13:11:00.000-07:00

Hey hey! 215.5 pounds today!

I would ask yesterday's SALAD to stand up and take a bow, but I ate it! Broccoli base, full cucumber, cherub tomatoes (seems a bit like a cherry tomato and a bit like a grape tomato, and 100% delicious!), along with both a red and green pepper!

I would also ask yesterday's WORKOUT to stand and be recognized, but that's just silly! Instead it merely gets marked down as yet another in a series of daily logs.

I hope you're well. I'm excited by the very real possibilities of additional weight loss. In fact, it's less about the scale and more about what I'm thinking about these days. Funny, that. I started out with a NUMBER in my head (a specific weight of 177). Now I really just want to keep refining my routines, and see if I can develop these feelings of self-confidence and build more and more positive (and new) neural pathways. Yep... it's hardwired into my nervous system now. Good times!

Take care! Empathy is next on the list.

Frank

220 (43) What's the Good Word?

2009-08-31T16:00:00.000-07:00

Good Evening!

"Neon Triptych" was fun, although my favorite drawings are the caricatures of my brother, Brian.

I just bought a mechanical pencil with a .7mm HB lead and I'm pleased with the energy in the linework.

It's been a wonderful weekend, but I've come to the conclusion that my sense of organization is flawed (I tend to overbook events, resulting in last-minute cancellations, and that cannot continue). So I took the plunge and picked up a daily organizer/calendar! Daily events are "up-for-grabs" no longer! I hope it works! Once I finish this post I'm entering all my "things" for the week.

The medical procedure went well. I'm healthy and have no issues, aside from my penchant for bad puns. Thank goodness. I can live with dumb jokes. And the week has started well with a solid workout and a good starting weight (220). I've got a good feeling about the coming days.

Oh yeah, I just bought new music today. Best find so far is a group called Band of Horses. FUNERAL is the reason I sought them out. Good stuff. Amazing how quickly music can change your state. Sad but not sappy, good energy and thoughtfulness. I've been thinking about meditating (which is better than just sitting here, doing nothing!) and I wonder if this would be music I can meditate to...?

Talk to you soon! Have a great evening!

Frank

221 (44) C is for COLONOSCOPY

2009-08-26T08:27:00.000-07:00

Good morning, dear friend!

And what a lovely day it is! The rain has been falling steadily since daybreak, and the earth is drinking its fill. What water collected on my Jeep poured down upon me in a shocking stream when I opened the driver's side door. I need to be quicker getting in the car... or get a better soft top for the Wrangler. Still, it was funny... and it's just water.

Well! Today is a very interesting day! Much like Christmas Eve. Well, it's the eve of something, but not presents! I have a colonoscopy tomorrow! Yay! I like to think of it as "The Fantastic Voyage". In just under 22 hours from now we'll join the good doctor and his team of specialists as they explore the inner workings of FRANK, searching for polyps, laughs, and high adventure on a Road Like No Other!

Will he be able to match the 99 hour fast of his fabulous sister? (no, as the late night chicken soft taco will attest to). Will he be able to bid "Adieu" to his beloved broccoli in order to make history? (well, for a day, I can keep the greens at bay). Will this help him jump higher, run faster, be overall funnier and STILL play the piano? (insert sound of 6Million Dollar Man here)

All these questions will be answered on August 27th!

... actually, I've been told it's a routine procedure, no drama, I'm sedated and pretty much out of it. Not even a fridge magnet as a keepsake.

Ahh well...So today it's water and Gatorade and more water and ever more Gatorade and yes, I'm still playing volleyball tonight (I HOPE this isn't a mistake, it'll be between dosings of the fluid that's supposed to help prep me). Fingers crossed....

hey! just fought off my first hunger pang of the day! Take that, HP, have more Gatorade!

All right, I should go. I'll write again on Friday, perhaps tomorrow evening. I'm sorry that the SCOPE has hijacked today's post. In other news, I've been working out regularly in the mornings, and it's been wonderful! Had a great dinner last night at a restaurant called KARYN'S RAW (on Halsted, by the Steppenwolf). Very tasty, very creative! I recommend the Jamaican ginger ale and the empanadas.

Um...I still need to buy a new bike helmet after last week's crash. and yeah, all else is good. I'm challenged by the usual trials, and I laugh at the antics of my friends. Life is good.

Take care! and thanks...
Frank

A few more sketches

2009-08-19T17:57:00.000-07:00

latest efforts...

Hope, Regret and Nachos!

2009-08-19T17:37:00.000-07:00

218 (41)! What a great number! Gotta love 218! I'm typing this line as I munch on some late night spinach, almonds and water! This is both my dinner and my defense against the ice-cream waiting for me at my parent's house tonight! There's an impromptu family party to bid 'adieu' to a cousin flying back to Spain tomorrow morning! As soon as I finish this note, I'll be off like a herd of turtles to get to the party!

So.... Hope.

Ever want to laugh and cry at the same moment? Mix in feelings of balance, calm and joy. That's been the last few days, weeks and (yes) months! (smiling)

Regret.

The time it took to get to this point in my life. The pain and hurt caused, clinging to emptiness, loss and confusion. A turmoil of noise and doubt swirling inside my head. Into the Storm, indeed.

Nachos.

Not much to say about nachos. You either love them or not. I found the best ones at Alumni Club in Schaumburg.... I recommend the combo, large! Order a 3-1-2 and watch some great volleyball! As much as I love spinach, some crispy nachos piled high with melted cheese, chicken and tomatoes....mmmmmmmmm!

Alright...the spinach is eaten, the broccoli enjoyed. Gonna fill up the water bottle and hit the highway!

I'm thinking of you, and hoping you're well! Until next time....

Frankie

p.s. Thanks for reading!

221 (44) Luke, you've turned off your targeting computer!

2009-08-11T10:54:00.000-07:00

Good afternoon!

Hey hey, 221 on a beautiful Tuesday morning! Followed by a Sausage McMuffin at breakfast, a turkey/avocado sub for lunch, and a granola bar before 1! Alright, a little off the reservation (did I mention the Doritos?)... but now's a good time to rein in a little. 215... has been done, can be done again! Thursday?

Emissions tonight, vehicle sticker, gym, Trader Joe's (mmmm, Pita chips!), and then a salad and a very late 9:45 volleyball match. It's rounding out to be a full rich day.

I sketched in the doctor's office yesterday, and will post soon. SPIRAL #2 is still in my head, and I'm still not reaching for the sketchbook as readily as I'd like, but you know, I'm okay with the balance right now.

Have to stretch soon. Knee is tender today. Funny... more stretching = less pain, and no stretching = sore to the touch.

Take care out there! This feels like a "keep head down and stay focused" kind of day, and yet despite that, the near future seems so promising. It's a Tuesday of Contentment.

Frank

224.5 (47.5) Good Heavens! Are those... SKETCHES???

2009-08-10T10:11:00.000-07:00

Good Afternoon!

I'm running out the door to a doctor's appointment, so allow me to paraphrase the underwear salesman when I say: "let's be brief!"

Hit 215 on Friday!

218 on Saturday!

230 Sunday night!

224.5 this morning!

It's a rollercoaster!

and Sketches are attached!! Including the first draft of SPIRAL OF GRATITUDE! The most interesting thing about these drawings is the new pen... it's more of a brush, and requires me to think differently about composing quickly and with less awkwardness. It's been a pleasure, so far.

Be well, and try to find at least ONE interesting cloud out there today!

Back before either of us knows it!!

Frank

217 (40) Doc, I just don't stretch that far!

2009-08-05T13:50:00.000-07:00

217 pounds.

It's awesome. A magical number. Totally unexpected.

So today is the tricky day.... first day after a new dip in weight, I'm most likely (historically speaking) to overeat. My plan? Water and spinach and broccoli and S - L - O - W eating of anything else.

It's 4pm.... time for some almonds.

Thanks for reading this! Today is a big day.

It's also a sad day. But it'll pass.

And it's also a SORE day. Physical therapy today....learned a bunch of new exercises! Ouch! In order, for the next week.... 10 min cardio warm up, stretch the hammies on the Prostretch, IBT stretch, then hip flexor (very important for my sore stomach muscle), performus (sp?) stretch (think cannonball and jacknife into pool), pelvis roll, London bridge (arch pelvis up with knees til back feels like, well, London Bridge). Finally, Imaginary Chair (with kickball between knees). But, if this keeps me running... Hell's Yes I'll do it! Oh yeah, and 10 minute treadmill, walking bacwards at high incline, SLOWWWWWLY, LONGGGGGGG strides. Legs and hips feel used and abused right now.

Alright, work beckons. Be good! Sketches... one day! (shaking head) I can acutally SEE the pics in my head.... must make time to draw!

Woody

addendum

2009-07-31T15:23:00.001-07:00

Four words:

Pepsi and WAX TAILOR.

back to my bouncy self.

Spiral out into the universe...let the weekend begin!

Woody

218 (41) Chemical? Emotional? Weekendonal?

2009-07-31T11:57:00.000-07:00

Good afternoon!

It really HAS been a while! Less a circle and more a spiral. Things resemble but rarely repeat, thank goodness!

I hope this note finds you well.

218!! What a lovely number! 2 solid hours (6 games) of volleyball, a little wine, a little chocolate, a LOT of salad, a morning workout, things are headed in the right direction.

So why the long face? I've categorized it as a "downswing in a normally UP personality". It's a Friday in summer, our slowest season, and what little work I have sits unattended on my desk. This would be a GREAT day to RENT a pet... nothing like a dog to pick your spirits up. I say RENT because this is a fleeting feeling, and sure as little green apples I'll be back in the land of crazy happy grateful before too long.

Perhaps I need to count my blessings. A nice spiral of gratitude to remember that I have friends and family and loved ones a'plenty.

There's a very specific problem that has me sad. Time will heal it. Always does. Silly heart. Be patient and grateful. ......and drink more water.

Hey! The weekend is here! 3 more hours.... blink of an eye! Be good, and I'll be back soon with actual sketches!! This is interesting, for the first time in my life I can actually SEE the pictures in my head, before I put them on paper.... feeling very eco-conscious....no paper lost on my rough drafts! lol.

Take care! If I've wronged you, my sincerest apologies. If I've preached to you, it's because I love you and care about you. If I've worked out with you, we are INDEED good friends. And if I've told you a joke, it's because I especially love to hear you laugh! You have summoned the sunshine for me!

Frank

221 (47) Are you sure you lost an electron? Yep! I'm Positive!

2009-07-30T15:28:00.000-07:00

Hello hello!

Where have the days gone? Quickie note: I hope you're well!

6 vball games tonight, then cheering a friend on at softball.

An upcoming trip to Spain! A doppelganger for my friend with a broken hand!

Physical Therapy! Starburst Fruit Chews! Still losing weight! Choosing SPINACH over BURGERS!!!!

Dogs and cats living together.... MASS HYSTERIA!

And in the middle of it, a nice, calm version of me! That may be the strangest part of all.

Talk to ya soon! Easy Breezy until then! :)

Gochisoo sama deshita!
Frank

223 Sore Knee Poor Me (character building)

2009-07-14T16:16:00.000-07:00

Hello Again!

It's tough to live in fear. Spreads a person too thin. In the immortal words of Tolkien "I feel like jam scraped over too much toast".

Solution: more sleep, morning exercise, a mental spiral of gratitude for all that I am blessed with. Good Lord, I have a lucky life!

Off to see a midnight movie with friends tonight. Before that I'm headed to see my parents, a cousin from Spain, an uncle from Colorado, and assorted siblings. It's family buffet. :)

I'm hours away from seeing my ex-wife, half a day from seeing a long-lost friend, 18 hours from donating blood, 1 hour from hugging my mom! It's been a mere 5 minutes since I've had a surprise email from a lovely friend, and it's been about 15 minutes since I emailed a woman with the most beautiful and endearing chuckle. Cross your fingers for me. My new life has room for love, joy, laughter and hope. Hurl it out, welcome it's return embrace.

I hope you're well. I was in a funk yesterday. Lost my cool. Took some kidlets climbing all over me, a snack pack of Nutter Butters, a spiral of gratitude, some bing cherries and a couple bananas to restore order. All those things and (laughing) a nice text message about 20 seconds ago. I'm such a fool. :)

Take care! Be gentle and easy with yourself until then... (I'll try too)

Frank

221 (44) Summer in a Single Day

2009-07-10T15:38:00.000-07:00

And so we return to this safest of havens.

Thanks for stopping by. I pray that you may tarry yet a while. The weekend is upon us, the sun has shaken off the cottony daydreams and shines out with healing light. I love this feeling. Possibilities indeed.

and so... I stand on the shoulders of giants to summarize the best outlook yet... put your dreams out there. Shine forth and hurl laughter and joy into the world. Without agenda, be a ministry of Joy & Service & Hope & Love. Be intoxicated with Life!

My mind is scattered, and I've never felt so free. My friends have boosted me and my enemies summon laughter from within me, bubbling up and out like a wild refreshing spring. I am a lucky soul. I'm buoyed by joy. As fast as I can send it hurtling from me, it returns in ever new and varied forms. Good Lord, a person could get addicted to this!

lol... sanity for a minute, a quick tally.

221. A great number. Beautiful numbers. I crave broccoli. Spinach nourishes. Almonds energize. I've been out of the gym for 3 weeks as my knee appears to require physical therapy. It's not stopping me from daily volleyball (Laura, your hands on the court last night were epic! How was I ever lucky enough to have you as my sand 2s partner?) You make us look great in the sand! Summer indeed is summoned in golden light when we play. Sore knees can wait until the final whistle blows.

I'll be seeing 217 so very soon. Perhaps Sunday. I suspect my brother and I will be riding 40 miles tomorrow. He's getting so very strong, but more than that, he's HUNGRY for distance, freedom and miles. It's a powerful thing, seeing someone shape their destiny in front of your eyes.

Alright. Haircut! and then volleyball! Be well. Unburden yourself. Let it all go. Why hold on to empty satchels? Set them free, forgive yourself, throw it all far and wide. That which matters most will return to you, and they will be like dear friends with bright eyes.

Have a great weekend!

Thanks,

Frank

midmorning pause

2009-07-08T07:18:00.000-07:00

He stood in the face of the storm,
howling with laughter,
drunk with life,
dangerously full of whimsy and joy.

Life beckons.

223 (46) Endless Possibilities, Limited Vision

2009-06-25T15:36:00.000-07:00

Hey! We're back again! and I'm SO HAPPY you're here! Seriously! This is such a fun place for me. I meant to write earlier, and even as I write to you my mind is elsewhere, everywhere, scattered, energetic and a bit manic.

My diet has really given me energy. Mountains of spinach, forests of broccoli, SO much water! (laughing) I feel clean. Part of the world again. Mindful. Still selfish, and very self-centered, but definitely part of the world.

No exercise this morning. Volleyball soon. 2s in the sand. Laura has great hands, and is a good teammate. She allows me in, but only so far. I wonder what it would be like to have a genuine conversation with her. Kim will be there tonight, too. Perhaps Jessica. Did I say I was distracted? lol.... so many possibilities, so many wonderful people around me... the spirals of our lives in synch here and there and here again. With nothing but joy in my heart as I write this, I have a very lovely life. The heart expands.

Seeing my folks tonight! Cousin is in from Georgia with his 2 boys. This'll be fun. I've feared the onset of stodginess (spelling?) and spontaneous family events remind me that I'm only as old as I feel. Today I feel 16 again! Vibrant, humming with life and vitality, goofy, silly, clumsy and young! A very lovely life indeed!

Take care! Perhaps next time I'll be more mindful in my writing. Today, this is the best I could do.

Life.... (rolling up sleeves in anticipation)... bring it on!!

Frank

p.s. Thanks for being here!

221 (44) LIFE? or Writing about life??

2009-06-23T15:56:00.000-07:00

Good Evening!

I've missed these posts! In one way... it's as if writing on this blog has become letters to a friend. Good stuff. And why not, right? Life is good, and that's just as solid a reason to write as when there are struggles, too.

Anyways, I hope this note finds you well. It's been a busy couple of days. Ran my 2nd official run... a 5K this time, in Mt. Prospect with my coworker. Excellent time... just under 27 minutes! 2 friends ran with me, but after the first block we all split up to run at our own pace. Running is such a solitary pursuit, even when surrounded by other runners. Almost as if we're all islands, moving through oceans of time and water. Well, it was a GREAT run, and I think I'm hooked on 5Ks for a while. Next up... Chinatown 5K in July!

(laughing) after the run, I met up with other friends and we played sand volleyball for 5 and a half hours! It's very interesting how 30 minutes spent running seemed a lifetime, and half a day of volleyball just flew by. My perception of time is peculiar, but welcome. Didn't win a single game of pick-up volleyball, but I had such a fun time with my friends (and we went on to sweep 4 wins in our league games last night! Thank you, Saturday Practice)! The craziest moment was when I accidentally slipped (while chasing a wild volleyball) and took a slide through this nasty pool of fetid water. Blech! Good thing my mouth was closed. I stood, covered in muck and mud and water and worms! The water's been there a while, and I shudder to think what got on my skin that day. Double yuck! But... my friends thought I slid on purpose, so... not a total loss! I'm clumsy, but I looked good doing it. That's something, right?

Weight loss! By accident and design I took last week off from the gym. Tuesday-Friday: nothing! Just volleyball, and that's not a huge calorie burn. I felt VERY guilty, but it turned out to be a good thing. Gotta let the body heal from time to time, it's crucial. And... I ended up being fresh for the run, juiced to be back in the gym this week, and saw a GREAT number on the scale this morning: 221! C'mon, 219.... I'm so close! Tonight it's bananas, almonds and a granola bar for dinner, with water to stay hydrated. Volleyball, then gym, then back to work for a couple more things. Late night, but needed. Wish me luck. It's in the long watches of the night that I get off track in so many ways.

Today's creations make me laugh. The sketch on the papertowel I call "Sandboarding!" A friend commented that was a sport they would be doing, and the image has stuck in my head. I'd like to sharpen up this theme, and see if a cool composition is there. Doesn't that sound like fun? Sandboard! (I just learned to snowboard, must be on my mind...) The other offering is a composite I call: Tuesday Breakfast. I put myself in the photo to show you the (mental) perspective. There are days it is a MOUNTAIN of broccoli. I love it. Keeps me full, saves me on the scale and I like the taste! But it IS a mountain. (the photo is of me, post 5K on Saturday).

Alright, I need to get out of here. Volleyball in just over an hour, and it's 30 minutes to get there! Catch ya later! Off to see the Harry Potter exhibit at the museum tomorrow. Photos to come!

Thanks again! Be well, have a nice night. Summer has (at last) landed! With a humid vengance! That's alright. It's about time! :)

Frank

223.5 (46.5) A Binge and A Dive

2009-06-17T15:17:00.003-07:00

Hello and Good Evening!

Just a minute to write. Let's see... I binged last night... Burger King (blech!) but it was SO good while I ate... all told I consumed approximately 2100 calories and approximately 100 grams of fat in 30 minutes. Sheesh! There was an emotional trigger, but I think the fact that I didn't eat much at lunch didn't help, either. More on that when I have time to sit and think longer on this.

The Dive! SUPER quick sketch, from my mind only (no photo guide) trying to capture the fun and craziness that is sand volleyball! If I'm not diving, it's not sand. Great sport, it's like being a kid again!

Alright, gotta go! Headed to Six Flags tonight with my brother. Coasters and catching up! A good night indeed!

See you soon!

Frank

222.5 (45.5) Rainy Tuesday

2009-06-16T15:54:00.001-07:00

Another Tuesday night, rainy, but a good day. I hope this note finds you well.

I overslept this morning, missed the a.m. workout. 2 days in a row... but I did manage a 2 mile run last night after some excellent volleyball! So... I'm on the evening workouts, and I'll be back with the mornings, and soon. I was up late drawing, 12:30 in the morning, actually. My friend Nick challenged me to have 5 compositions this week, and when I'm drawing, time is forgotten. Today's posted sketches were a lot of fun, although I REALLY need to find my darker pencils.

I like the furious pose of the swimmer. I missed on the facial expression of the boy, who should be snickering. The other, a self portrait, has potential, but this is definitely a rough draft.

Volleyball in an hour. Take care! See you tomorrow! I have NO IDEA what should be drawn next... but that's part of the fun, isn't it?

Take care!

Frank

226 (49) A Full Rich Day

2009-06-15T10:55:00.000-07:00

"Always and Never are not words for men. You'll be returning again and again."

Ningauble of the Seven Eyes or Sheelba of the Eyeless Face (Fritz Leiber's Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser)

Good Afternoon!

This is one of my favorite quotes. It applies to my weight loss efforts, most especially in the springtime afternoon of a Monday at work. So often I seem to lose ground on Mondays on the scale, weighing heavier than the previous Friday. I must be twice as vigilant on the weekends, journaling and exercising conscientously, with the knowledge that my schedule is much looser on Saturdays and Sundays, and opportunities to make poor decisions are much more frequent. Perhaps I need to create a schedule for myself, mostly so that I don't fall victim to the moment (the food in front of me, etc.).

Anyways, I hope you're well. I managed 1 sketch over the weekend ("Conjured Summer") and that was Friday evening! I have ideas for 5 more renderings, and will be working on them shortly. It was a full, rich weekend, but I neglected to make time for drawing. I guess I'm easing back into it slower than I thought. Perhaps I'll draw this afternoon and add a quick sketch to this post in a few hours. It's become a nice addition to my maunderings.

So, tonight will be fun! I'll go for a quick sprint after work (1 mile), followed by sand volleyball (4s). Can't wait! The work day is busy but it's slow at the moment. I need to bring water, Gatorade and snacks to the match tonight (especially SCOOBY SNACKS) as we're trying to build a sense of camaraderie and fun. Do Fruit Roll-Ups build strong relationships? lol... guess I'll find out!

Take care! Talk to you soon!

Oh yes... I chose to sleep in this morning instead of work out. I will be consistent on morning workouts for the rest of this week! It's summer, not summer vacation!

Frank

Composition Forming

2009-06-12T16:05:00.000-07:00

Hello again!

My 4B pencils are at home. I'll track them down this weekend, but in the meantime I'll continue to count on Photoshop levels.

...sketchy to faces to stills to an actual composition...

Hmmm... I have 14 more pages to fill by Sunday night.

What is on my mind?

Apparently, pineapples. Yesterday's pineapple conjured summer. Blue skies today. Imagine that.

Turning it over in my head....

Take care! Talk to you soon,

Frank

222.5 (45.5) Sunny Day, Spirits High, Pineapple Tasty

2009-06-12T08:50:00.000-07:00

Hey hey! Good morning!

222.5 this morning! After 2 mornings of no time in the gym! lol... I took some well-deserved ribbing from my friends Richard and Mitch on the ellipticals, and then it was the usual routine. I was more energized this morning (fueled, no doubt, by the tasty burger last night!), and it was a smooth, very welcome workout (albeit a quick one). Weights tonight after work, and then the weekend can start in style!

So... PINEAPPLES! I have been LOVING pineapples this week! Yum! On sale, they smell great, they conjure Hawaiian daydreams and they're just so EXOTIC! Alright, I may have a bit of a crush on pineapples right now. I admit it. Oh well... curse me for a fool and we can laugh all the same.

The weekend is here! ...nearly here. My coworker made for a good sketch model yesterday... I may bring the book into the lunchroom again today. I have my 2H pencil at hand, and a GOOD ERASER (Staedtler Mars) this time.... so no smudges. As much as I love to texture sketches ("overdraw" a piece), I think my best doodles are the ones with the least lines and the most energy, you know? Interpretation, not duplication!

Alright! My spirits are high. There's a certain... Je ne sais quoi... in the air. Thank goodness we have the ability to hope.

Take care! Have a great weekend!

Frank

224.5 (47.5) Day 2 is the Toughest

2009-06-11T12:33:00.000-07:00

Hi there!

2:45 and another fast day! My grand plans for a significant composition are still rolling along, but I'm a much slower artist than I remember. Ahh well. It's the journey wherein lies the value...

Lunchroom sketches. Coworkers! John has such interesting hair, I couldn't resist.

I'll finish a sketch of a pineapple shortly.

I overslept (family party last night) and missed 2 morning workouts in a row. I'll be hitting it hard in the gym tonight. Treadmill, Beware!

Take care! Gotta dash! Thanks!

Frank

(225.5) (223) (224.5) Sketching again

2009-06-10T09:18:00.000-07:00

Good morning! I'm sketching again! And we're busy at work. Weight has "stabilized" around 224 and the daily workouts are very welcome. I still love raw broccoli and spinach in the morning, and I've made strides to improve on the late evening foraging (feeling about 85% successful).

I've started wearing a heart rate monitor to keep an eye on the estimated daily caloric burn. VERY interesting. Lesson: EXERCISE! It rips the calories off you (i.e. 5100 calorie burn Monday, 3100 yesterday, and today, only 646 in the last 5 hours). My BMR appears to be around 2800 (crazy!), so I've got a really solid opportunity to watch my intake and up the output for some serious weight loss!

Oh yeah! My last girlfriend has kind of gone crazy. She keeps emailing me... first a sweet&creepy email saying: "...been thinking about you non-stop for the last 3 months and wouldn't it be great to get back together even though you've moved on...", and then, after I sent a short but direct note ("I've moved on"), she sends me my first truly (no other word for it) venomous email... a real 180 degree-flip! It was incredibly nasty and hurtful. Amazing! So one of my quick sketches is supposed to be me, looking over my shoulder. I am, actually. I KNOW there are obsessive and disturbed people out there, but who would've thought I had actually DATED one? I shall continue running with the added spur of possibly having to outrun this particular woman in the future. Feets Don't Fail Me Now!

Lunchtime! Gotta go! Hope you like my first attempts. I'll be adding them daily, and with luck I'll retrain my hand to translate what I see in my mind.

Title of sketches:

1. STALKER? (not my best "over the shoulder/worried" glance)

2. APPEALING SNACK (har har)

3. I Have NO IDEA What to Draw!

also, thanks to Sarah (Twin 1) and Nick for being patiently insistent that I keep drawing.

Take care!

Frank

224 (47) Laura Has Absolutely the Best Hands!

2009-06-05T06:46:00.000-07:00

Good morning and Blue Sky Friday to ya! Seriously, have you LOOKED outside? Powder blue skies, vivid green landscape, sunny and quiet but for the occasional drone of small airplanes. Phones are silent and my coworker hasn't come in yet. It's one of those mornings that makes me glad to be in Chicago in the springtime. Plus, the weekend is nearly here!! Laundry and leisure time and a change-up in the routine. After 5 days of 4:30 a.m. starts, Saturday's 8am sleep-in is going to seem positively decadent.

So, it's been a busy week. I didn't dip below 222, but neither did I hit 226. I maintained my weight, and without creating a significant caloric deficiency that's the simple truth. I had some donuts this week, 2 drive-thrus, and a couple of nights with only 4 hours of sleep. Not a winning combination for weight loss. The journaling helped keep the van on the mountain (even if I did drive off the road, so to speak).

Alright... the challenge for the weekend is to make smart nutritional choices. I'm going to duplicate the diet I enjoy during the working week: morning veggies, lean proteins at lunch, fruits and nuts (snack) and a half portion at dinnertime. The last 4 weekends have seen 4 pound increases in my weight. I have a better shot at reaching 219 by not eating up to 226 tomorrow and Sunday. 8am workout tomorrow, a run tonight and Sunday....yes, this is do-able.

So... my Thursday sand volleyball partner, Laura has the best hands out there! She passed and set the ball so beautifully, time and time again (shaking head in wonder), we had... so much fun yesterday! We were both spiking and running and diving and playing as a team. There were some great rallies and one insanely good play (a backwards kick at the back line sent the ball over the net, still in play, and after 3 more dives into the sand, we got the point. It was the perfect summer day. Surrounded by friends, playing with a lovely partner (great attitude, willing as a new day), and feeling healthy and vital and ALIVE... it was a golden moment in a very lucky life.

and when I woke up this morning, stiff and sore and 30 minutes late to the gym, I staggered onto a treadmill and walked out the stiffness. Seems so counterintuitive. Muscles hurt. Solution: work them out. I now merely feel elderly instead of ancient!

Alright. Work beckons. Take care of yourselves this weekend! Wish me luck (and self control) and I'll catch ya on Monday! (earlier, if I have good news to report).

Frank

223.5 (46.5) Short Post, Crazy Foods

2009-06-04T06:29:00.000-07:00

Good morning!

Just a quick post today. Work has heated up and I'm behind the eight ball on some time-sensitive projects.

Slept in yesterday and missed my morning workout. Made up for it with (cold) sand volleyball practice last night. I woke up this morning and was back in the gym for a 5 mile elliptical session and some situps. No time for weights, but am looking forward to them tomorrow. 7 volleyball games (sand) tonight. Stomach is slightly hurting. My coworker thinks a pulled muscle. The hypochondriac in me thinks... hernia? hmmm... easing off situps for now, and tomorrow will be a high incline walk (20 degrees) on the treadmill. Great for getting a good sweat on, with less impact (better for the stomach).

Crazy/poor food choices yesterday. McDonald's drive-thru in the morning, followed by 2 delicious buttermilk donuts! Healthy green salad at lunch and fajitas for dinner. All in all, NOT a calorie deficit. Kept heart rate monitor on all day... burned about 1600 calories in 11 hours. Trying to pin down my BMR (basal metabolic rate?) but have yet to leave it on 24 hours with no extra (gym) activity. Interested to know the number.

Work has me a bit stressed at the moment. Ton of laundry to do. But the sun is shining, I'm happy and healthy and strong and vital. I've got a date this weekend and a trip to Milwaukee with my brother Saturday morning.

I'm tired this morning, but excited for the challenge of work. If I can just stay focused and deliberate in my actions (after this post) I won't let my clients down. I hope.

Take care! Thanks! 221... can we see you tomorrow morning??

Frank

222 (45) The Elusive Number!

2009-06-02T11:57:00.000-07:00

It's Peach Season! Delicious! Even better than the yogurt set aside as my mid-afternoon snack!

Hi there! Just a quick minute to check in. Super busy at work today. It's 2pm and I have 7 "Must Happen" items on my list (usually at this time I have, about 3). Thank goodness I'm focused and well fed.

Solid workout this morning. Added "interval training" to my elliptical routine. Proved I was dogging it on the machines... the miles and calories weren't adding up. Jillian Michaels suggested the following high-intensity cardio workout: 30 second all-out sprint, 30 second recovery. Then add 15 seconds to each (45 sprint, 45 recovery). Add 15 seconds each time, building all the way to a 90 second sprint, followed by a 90 second recovery. Then pyramid back down to 30 seconds. And then repeat the whole cycle! Man! My heartrate shot up right away! and the miles! I managed just over 5 miles in 45 minutes, with 760 calories burned! Sweet! Those are the kinds of numbers I saw last year, when I was going all out, every morning, in the height of a very stressful time (divorce). The stress is gone. I've found a way to recreate the workout. Sweat-drippingly excellent!

and 222 on the scale this morning! Thank goodness! I ate some very late ice cream last night (slathered in butterscotch and chocolate sauces, whipped cream and sprinkles! Hey, go big or go home, I say!). Ron (from The Biggest Loser) said it best when he said: "What was the occasional must now become the constant, and what was constant before must now be very rare" (referring to exercise, nutrition and junk food).

Have a great day! The sun just appeared (it's been gloomy all day), and I hope it remains relatively nice for tonight's late night sand volleyball match. The nutritional challenge today... I'll be at a bar. I think I'll go for a rum and coke and a grilled chicken sandwich (with fruit instead of fries). The hard liquor is better than beer, but I'm not fooling myself. I better nurse that drink til gametime.

222! The number we've waited for! Next stop.... 219! Maybe if I just order an ice tea instead...

See ya!
Frank

226.5 (49.5) Serves Me Right for Being Organized

2009-06-01T13:05:00.000-07:00

Good afternoon and Feliz Lunes, and even... Greetings from June 1st!

I've been getting progressively lighter at the start of every week in May. The trend has even continued into June.

5/11: 230.5#
5/18: 229.5#
5/26: 228#
6/1: 226.5#

Thank goodness I jot down my day's weight in our weekly staff meetings... makes it easy to see a month in a glance. Last Thursday and Friday I had raced down to 221.... and with 226 to start the week, well, it's just nice to see a general downwards trend. I know how it happens, but separating the emotions from the simple math... that continues to be a challenge.

Monday sand volleyball starts tonight, just in time to interfere with our Monday indoor playoffs! blech! 6:30 quarterfinals (indoor), and 3 of my 4 sand players are indoors (myself included). The sand team rallied and found 3 subs for the 7:10 match (so Laura wouldn't be on the sand alone). And then today was a comedy of Keystone Capers proportions when our schedule changed to a 6:30 sand start, and then changed back to the (original) 7:10 first game! Normally I procrastinate and so these little hiccoughs would correct themselves, but no, not this time! To untangle this lil knot translated to 5 emails and 3 texts to the whole team over the course of 4 hours. That's my punishment for being organized (and for flirting with the league coordinator, Jessica!). I'm on friendly terms with Jess, so naturally my team is the one that is bumped back and forth in the time slots.

Anyone see a pattern? How is it that I entangle myself with all these women and have nothing of value to show for it? I'm interested in the wrong women, or my strategy is flawed. Broccoli I understand. Relationships, not so much. Although ACTUALLY, this an ideal situation for asking Jessica out. My best dates are those that come from a humorous start. Hmmm... patience is my watchword. The single life is starting to agree with me, as if colors are returning to my everyday world (it's now almost 13 months since the divorce).

Alright. Back to formula. new plan: relax and laugh a little more. This is all "Much Ado About Nothing!" (Thanks Will!) These are truly... nice problems to have.

Take care! Have a good night! Cross your fingers for no rain. Thunderstorms (are) expected!
Frank

p.s. great workout this morning! Only 30 minutes of cardio, but solid numbers on the weights. My workout gloves really put me in the right mindset to push through my limitations on the weightlifting.

226 and a Noon Start to the Day

2009-05-31T11:52:00.000-07:00

Hey hey!

2 weekend posts! What is happening?!? I'm supposed to be outside when the good weather rolls around! Well, one minute inside and then an hour out in the sun. That's the way to do it.

Sunday and sunny. Played 6 hours of sand volleyball last night, starting at 4pm! 2 on 2 all the way up to 4 on 5. My sand legs are still on back order, but my passing has improved. Just gotta get wayyyy down close to the ground, bending my knees to more effectively absorb the impact of the first serve. As Yoda often reminded Luke: "Control. Control. You MUST learn control!" As with Jedi, so with volleyball...

226 and no surprise. 6 hours of beer and then 2 drive-thrus (White Castle and McDonald's) at near midnight. Blech. I'm at the office now (2pm) and I'm leaving at 3:30 to get in a nice long, deliberate workout. 90 minutes of cardio and then a full rotation of weights (9 machines). 219 is on my mind. Under 220 is the weight where I start thinking about new jeans and smaller waist sizes. Under 220 is a great place to be. Under 220... now we're cooking with gas!

Take care!
Frank

225 (48) Feeling Blue

2009-05-30T11:47:00.000-07:00

The waning days of May... overcast, no rain and a lovely quiet Saturday.

I hope you're well.

225 BEFORE a pancake, egg & sausage breakfast. Coffee with milk and sugar, Barlean's Greens (cold) mixed with room temperature Gatorade (hard to drink this green juice when it's warm), and a half glass of OJ. Yum! I did the dishes and cleaned the kitchen to my favorite workout music. A very good morning.

So I'm feeling blue... because I've got a blue shirt on, blue jeans, and the general "less than thrilled" feeling of being stood up on yet another May Saturday morning. I'm going to stop accepting text messages from gorgeous women before noon on Saturdays... unless they're texting me from the other room, that is...

(today, a lovely brunette texted me to cancel on morning volleyball. It's now morphed into late afternoon/evening volleyball up in Gages Lake).

Just popped into the office to place a few orders. Leaving in an hour. Nice to mark the day, especially as most weekends (with regards to nutrition and exercise) are only loosely recorded in my journal.

Take care! Talk to you soon,
Frank

221 (44) Broccoli Breath and Weekend Confirmed

2009-05-29T08:50:00.000-07:00

Good morning!

For a quick recap, the first number in my title is my current weight (in pounds). The second number, in parentheses, is the amount of weight left to lose in order to achieve the (ideal) mid-range weight of 177 pounds. Online sources agree that a funny, good-looking (humble) and brainy 6'4" white male should weigh around 177 (and no more than 204). The exercise continues.

so.... where were we? ahh yes... GOOD MORNING!

man, the broccoli today.... is very... broccoli'ish. aka: potent aftertaste. Yum yum. Perhaps I should try steaming it occasionally. well... the bachelor that I am comes prepared with mouthwash at hand (one never knows when lovely ladies will appear at your elbow). Such is the nature of wily women.

Hey hey! 2 days of 221! I've held the weight ("Stay on target!") for 24 hours! Excellent! Not without help. 7 games of sand volleyball last night (I lost all 7, but had such a fun time playing! crazy!), asleep after midnight, and somehow found my way into the gym for an exceptional workout this morning (45 minutes on the elliptical, 8 minutes of very fast running on the treadmill, and then 30 minutes of solid weight lifting). Good stuff. I'm feeling strong, lean, and ready for the weekend. (side note: It's so funny how clothes can firm up the mindset. When I wear my weight-lifting gloves, I feel unstoppable.)

When the weekends roll around, I'm a bit "off the ranch", so to speak. I can control my diet in the office very effectively (I eat what I bring). It's a structured environment and there are lots of interesting distractions. 2 free days, however.... yeah, that can be a problem. I'm concerned. So... plan and scheme. In an hour (lunchtime) I'm going to give careful consideration to the food I'll have this weekend. Face it. The pizza is good, but I have little to no self control, so I'm better avoiding it and having an excellent salad instead. I've adopted a "scorched earth" policy when it comes to my favorite foods. Until I can demonstrate some self disclipine, I won't let myself near them.

Life is good today. I'm feeling balanced and at peace.

Have a great weekend! Get out there and enjoy the beautiful weather. mid-70s and not too buggy yet. Remember, these are the days we DREAM about as we're nestled under feet of snow in the oddly blue-white haze of December twilight.

Take care,
Frank

221 (44) Saute it Forward!

2009-05-28T14:40:00.000-07:00

Good afternoon!

Gray and May... must be Chicago! No complaints though, for it is NOT raining (yet). 7 volleyball games tonight, all in the sand. Really don't want to cancel (or get soaked). I'd cross my fingers, but that would make it hard to typeoe.lalldl.a..e.;zae aknho See?

221! What happened? This is awesome! Thank you, evening bananas and almonds! Thank you brother-in-law, for pushing me out the door for an hour run last night (approx.5 miles). Thank you alarm clocks in the morning and 5am gym rats... you keep me there and happy and distracted from the tedium of consistency. So... HOW do I set aside more time for sleep? It's the missing puzzle piece...

Seriously though, 221! Yahoo! It's been a while since I've seen this number. In personal terms, this is 23 pounds lighter from the first entry in my exercise diary (3 years ago). It's also 34 pounds lighter than my heaviest recorded weight (in the foggy days of double order drive thrus and telling myself that "a night of volleyball is the same as a full workout"). I'm shaking my head and thinking of Jeff Goldblume's character in "The Big Chill" when he opined that rationalizations were more important than sex. "Ever gone a day without a juicy rationalization?" Good stuff, and VERY true.

So... a friend of mine dismissed my recent declaration that "I can't cook." She countered by saying that anyone can cook. "Can you read, Frank? Can you follow directions? You CAN cook." I tenderly pointed out that I AM illiterate, and that in a rather complicated Cyrano deBergerac'ian scheme, a secret earpiece and comedic situations have helped me navigate to the point where I was standing in front of her, claiming culinary naivete. She wasn't biting. Rats.

Well, the truth is that I don't take the time to prepare dishes outside of lunch. Take a look at a recent post where I show photos of my worktime meals... usually started on "a soft bed of baby spinach." I CAN make Cuban bread (warm, dense and delicious, just like me! haha), and I'm a whiz at Jello pretzel salad and graham cracker cookies (with a dash of butterscotch). Heck, I've even cut my teeth on Jello shots this year! (250 shots, flavored with vodka, tequila and, my favorite: amaretto!). So I DO cook, just not often or exotic dishes. Life will continue and I will add to my repertoire.

Alright... time to go. The gym is calling, as is that elusive number.... 219! (I whispered that number, by the way). Seems within reach. We're at the pinnacle of the week's physical training. Why not make a run for the sun?

Have a great night. Thanks for reading!

Frank

p.s. in a surprise stomach-churning turn of events, I'm playing volleyball tonight against the recent ex-girlfriend who is "still waiting for (/stalking) me". I'm only half kidding when I say... please don't do me any harm. We had a good run. The run is done. It's my hope that you can hang on to the good memories and carry them on into a bright future. Or as my culinary-minded friend would say... "Saute it forward."
F

223.5 (46.5) Have I ALWAYS been into chaos?

2009-05-27T08:19:00.000-07:00

Good morning! I hope this posting finds you well.

Wednesday and gray out there today. It's not humid, and there's a sharp bite in the air. Nor is it a sharp "winter's coming" feel, but rather cold and crisp and full of life... like taking a bite out of a fresh stalk of broccoli.

So... here we are again. Lots to talk about, but not a lot of time at the moment. In the words of the underwear salesman, let's be brief.

The first reading on the scale this morning was 223.5. Second and third readings varied all the way to 225, so I'm opting to just weigh myself once from here on out, otherwise I'm putting way too much emphasis on this. As it is, weight loss has hijacked this blog lately (as well as earned a notation in every title).

It was a very good Memorial Day weekend for me. I slept in on Saturday and Monday. Good thing, too, as Bike the Drive on Sunday had us up before 4am! That was terrible and painful and much too early, even for me. I had a grumpy drive downtown Sunday morning, and in spite of the early wake up, we didn't start riding til 6:30. Next time, I HAVE to get to bed by 9 (instead of midnight).

The bike ride was awesome! What a great way to see the city, riding car-free (and carefree) along Lake Shore Drive on a bright and cloudless spring morning. Southbound riding was a breeze, but a cross wind going north really took its toll. Short supplies at the rest stops had my nephew upset ("No more cookies? I wanna go home!") Me too. But the final leg of the 30 mile trip was headed south, and it was a pleasure and a breeze. The day rounded out nicely with 4 hours of sand volleyball pick-up games at the park district, and then a nice dinner date at the end of the evening. There was talk of a movie but I would've been asleep before the previews finished.

Saturday! Woke up decadently at 10, was in the office by noon, at the pool by 5:30 and in the gym by 6:45. The lazy river was warm and comfortable, and the crowds were absent. Ran a quick mile on the treadmill, did one set of weights, and then zipped over to pick up some deep dish pizza and salad. Quiet night in, but stayed up til midnight (dummy).

Monday was a pleasure. Slept in again until about 10. Pancake house for breakfast (mmmm, butterscotch pancakes!), visited my friends and helped with their bonfire. Picnic lunch, then home for laundry, and finally an evening of bowling and a spaghetti dinner with 2 other couples and their kids. A great evening and a nice way to spend a cold and gray Memorial Day.

I made smart food choices all weekend with the exception of the deep dish pizza. Cold pizza for leftovers does NOT taste that great, yet I ate 4 pieces over Sunday and Monday. Bad choice. I made it back to the gym Tuesday morning and had a solid workout. I chose to sleep in this morning (Wednesday), but I packed my gym bag for a good workout tonight (feels like vacation, somehow). There'll be a little griefing from my fellow 5am gym rats tomorrow, but it was worth the extra hour of sleep. I played 8 games of volleyball last night, and my body is glad for the half day break.

So... I've been meditating on the idea that I have a tendency to create my own chaos. 10 actual meditation minutes! You know, my life is good, easy breezy, and then I create situations that cause unnecessary stress. It's more noticeable now simply because I have less overall stress in my life, and the addition of anything new (and stressful) is very apparent. I'm being vague, but that's alright. I received a "still waiting for you" email from an ex-girlfriend, and it bothered me. Move on! Please! For my sake! (laughing) I'm serious though. I was honest and direct when I knew I was no longer interested, and after months of no contact, I receive a "still have feelings for you" email. (sigh) Alright, written and done. I'm going to be Taoist about this... let it pass through me, and move on. It's not my issue to worry over. The correct response to this email will be: "Thank you for your email. My feelings haven't changed. I'm seeing other people. All the best." My instincts (and those whose advice I value) say this is the best course of action. Done and done.

Anyways... 223.5 is a great number for a Wednesday! Can we see 222 this week? That would be so incredibly great! I think we will, especially if I put in a 2000 calorie workout tonight. That means 2 hours of cardio + weights. Hmmm... I'll start packing a swimsuit and goggles for the pool, too. I want to add swimming to the routine, mixing things up and giving my knee a break. In terms of food, the big meal will be lunch (chicken breast, turkey chili and rice) and then a smart snack mid-afternoon, and a smart dinner... banana, 20 almonds, some leftover chili and rice.

Take care. Thanks for reading. Talk to you soon.

Frank

230.5 (53.5) Saturday

2009-05-23T12:29:00.000-07:00

Slept in. Really needed it. At the office now. Fixing one file, posting to a lab,

and then out of here.

Big lunch. Time today for the office, the pool, the gym.

(a few hours later)....

9:40 at night... great finish to the day! Swam at the local pool (lazy river counts as swimming, doesn't it?) Water slides, couple of laps, general floating... good stuff. Deep dish pizza and raspberry lemonade and really crisp lettuce for dinner. Went for the shortest workout of the week: mile and a half run, vertical chest presses, then home for dinner. oh yeah, pecan pie in a few minutes. Yum! My crazy knee is stiff and tender. Darn it. Is it the exercise? The injury back in high school? (twisted a ligament freshman year)... it's obnoxious right at the time I've really gotten tuned in to daily exercise. Time to get myself to see a doctor.

Bike the Drive tomorrow morning! Then meeting up with some friends in Grant Park after, and volleyball out in Palatine at 1pm. I'm hoping to sneak in a nap under a shade tree somewhere in between. :) It turned out to be a really good day.

Have a great night! Talk to you soon,

Frank

225 (48) A Good Start To the Weekend

2009-05-22T12:36:00.000-07:00

Good afternoon!

Here we are, Sunset and Camden!

I weighed in at 225 pounds on a sunny Friday afternoon. The holiday weekend is here. 140 minutes left in the work day, and taking a moment to log in today. 48 pounds to go to reach my goal of 177! 6'4" and 177. I can't quite picture it in my mind yet, but I'm going to imagine it each night, summon it from the ether, make it real. First the illusion, and then the reality.

So... I'm okay with 225. I hoped for 223 (after the good numbers earlier this week), but a beer after volleyball kicked off some LATE NIGHT snacking, which translated to groggy and sluggish in the morning. I put my time in at the gym, but no records were broken (except the number of yawns). I'm pleased with the overall numbers and I've got my sights set on a weekend of smart nutritional choices. Yes, there's always the chance that I'll binge on the weekends, but the triggers (for a food meltdown) are nowhere in sight (heartache, stress, late nights, bad sitcoms). Instead I'm looking at a 30 mile bike ride on Sunday, time at the pool on Saturday, volleyball and friends on Sunday and Monday. Good times, and hopefully a nap under a tree, too.

Heard from a lot of high school friends this last week. Facebook has been a surprisingly good personal assistant. Friends from the past. It's turned into a very interesting month.

Yes. I'm feeling at peace today. My friend put my mind and heart at ease with her well-timed text message Wednesday morning. I like to think I'm a romantic fool, but I suspect that I'm really just a fool. (smiling thoughtfully) I think there's room for a good friendship with her in the months ahead. I hope she becomes a part of my life.

Have a great weekend! Thanks for reading!

Frank

223.5 (46.5) Summer (almost) Confirmed!

2009-05-21T07:09:00.001-07:00

Good morning!

9:15 and sunny and 80 degrees in Chicagoland! Seriously! What could be better???

(... watching the waves roll in along a black rock Hawaiian beach at sunrise WOULD be better... hmmm, I'll let you know within the year).

So... the climb to 223 continues, and we're nearly there! I've had 2 days of 223.5 in a row! This is fantastic and a total surprise. What's different about the last couple of days? I've kept my late night foraging down to a minimum, and the morning workouts/nightly volleyball have been much more consistent than usual. (shrug) I keep picturing a glass (body). Exercise, volleyball, good sleep, smart nutrional choices, breathing exercises and limiting stress becomes the water that fills the glass. Mostly the glass gets.... 90% full, and then recedes. The moment it overflows, that's when the weight loss kicks in. The message? Push through my limitations every day. It's just a LITTLE MORE on top of the regular effort that'll yield results (the whipped cream on the sundae). The other message? I'm a sucker for analogies. Artist background, I suppose. :) Speaking of which, new sketch pages to come, and soon! Thanks for being patient.

Plyometrics are next! With all the volleyball and friendly coaching from my teammates, I'm showing improvement with smart hitting and blocking at the net, but the power in my spikes has disappeared. I feel slow. Plyometrics, and the development of "quick twitch" muscles this summer is my best 'next step'. Three summer sand leagues should build up my leg muscles and give me a chance to get faster. Yeah, it's shaping up to be a promising summer!

Pools open this Saturday! Lazy river, here I come. I've been meditating more these days (praying, too), so why not combine those practices with an inner tube, a winding waterway, a summer breeze and a good tan? C'mon summer... you're so close to us....

Alright, back to work! Take care, and as always, thanks for reading. One more early morning workout (tomorrow), and my fingers are crossed for a subject line that starts "223!"

Take care! If you can't get out today, at LEAST crack open a window. It's positively beautiful out there!

Frank

226.5 (49.5) So... What's for Life?

2009-05-19T08:02:00.000-07:00

Good morning!

My coworker and I have worked together for over 10 years now. We have thrived where few others were able to take root. Strange plants are we.

10 years means lots of routine around here. One standard conversation is "So, what's for lunch?" The earlier the question is asked, the hungrier the inquisitor is. By the way, today I have nothing in particular for lunch. I have some turkey chili, a juice smoothie, saltine crackers and Granny Smith apples. Interesting diet. I call it "Cabinet Buffet".

So today's title is a nice play on that (daily) question. My divorce was just about a year ago, and I feel like I'm ready to fly out of this holding pattern I've been in for the last 3 months. This is going to be exciting. More to come as the plan crystallizes, although today's mission is to draw up my budget for the rest of the year. That'll help me with the next question: do I stay, do I rent, dare I buy?

226.5 this morning! Woke up to my 3rd alarm at 4:40 (When the Saints Go Marching In) and for a 2nd day in a row (woo hoo!) I was at the gym when it opened. I felt like I was on auot-pilot yesterday, but today was a strong day. 30 minutes of good elliptical, and then 4 weight machines for the full 15-12-8-10 rep cycle (15 reps of my standard weights, 12 of the next heaviest weight, 8 for the NEXT heaviest weight, and then 10 for the same weight as the 12 rep). I feel good, strong, a little tired, and ready for the day.

I'm going to make another run for 223 this week! I've got a good shot at it, too, with gym every morning and volleyball through Thursday night. I need to curb the late night foraging and I should be good to go!

It's sunny out there today. Blue skies and light clouds. There's a rumor of 80+ degress tomorrow. It's more than welcome! Memorial Day is a week away, and I'm ready to hit the pools and water parks. C'mon, warm(er) weather!

Take care! Get out and enjoy this springtime weather!
Woody

229.5 (52.5) Another Week: Bright and Sunny in spite of my mood

2009-05-18T09:22:00.000-07:00

Good morning!

The best moment and the worst moment of the weekend were side-by-side. I woke up at 5:30 a.m. yesterday morning, totally lost as to the day. I thought I had missed my window for a full workout, that it was Monday, I would be running late, and completely behind. After a minute or so, though, as I was collecting my senses, I realized it was actually only Sunday, and that a full rich day was ahead of me! What a relief! I dozed for another hour, then watched the next installment of "The Biggest Loser" on my laptop (from bed). Very decadent, and a much nicer way to start the day.

This was another odd weekend, filled with surprises and disappointments. I've been cultivating the art of "No Expectations" and it works well enough... until I find myself cancelled on and feeling let down. I guess I need to be more honest about my TRUE expectations, especially the long shots.

So... I had a lot of open time on Saturday. Went for a great 30 mile bike ride with my younger brother along the lakefront, and ended the day caught up on laundry, rest, and downtime. Sunday was a sunny day at Six Flags with very low crowds and some great rollercoasters. I made it back home in time to get in a very quick workout at the gym (weights only) and finish the day strong (in spite of onion rings, fried mushrooms, hot pretzels and cheese! lol). A very good night's sleep and a 4:30 wake up helped me be one of the first gym rats in this morning. It was an "auto pilot" day at the gym, but that's fine with me.

I'm feeling sad but not surprised this morning. I'm thinking that it's time for a change in my life. I usually do things in haste, so perhaps the first step is to think things over carefully and make a SMART change, one that improves upon my situation. More to come as I meditate on this.

Volleyball tonight. Work, and a tasty salad, right now.

I hope you're well. Spring is here! :)
Frank

227.5 (50.5) - Thursday and sore knee

2009-05-14T10:03:00.000-07:00

Good afternoon!

2 days since the last post. Hopped on the scale this morning and the smart-alec said to me: "Hey! One at a time!" harhar. Morning humor is not appreciated by the sleep-deprived.

So yesterday's number WAS a low one... 224.5. Today was 227.5, and no wonder! I consumed close to 4300 calories yesterday, with an estimated 160-200 grams of fat!!! One drive through and some late night ice cream really took their toll. Tack on the fact that I've overslept the last 2 mornings (aka: missed the 5am workout) and no wonder the weight creeped up.

Tonight there's a volleyball captain's meeting (for the upcoming sand leagues), and an 8pm sub out at Jesse Oaks! Fun night, although my right knee is tender today. A tendon? Not sure.... iced it last night, and will continue to do so for the next few evenings. Sand tonight, sand tomorrow, then a bike ride, tree removal, and Six Flags! Fun weekend, and I can't wait! I've acted like each night this week is a Friday night (keeping late hours, crashing on the couch).

Lunchtime! Catch ya later! The weather is beautiful outside today. The sky is a richer blue than I've seen it all week. Spring is a good thing in Chicago.

Frank

225 - An Opening!

2009-05-12T07:58:00.000-07:00

Good Morning!

What a great day! Bright sky, mid-May in Chicago. I'm shaking off the last vestiges of spring allergies (they were light this year), and the season is opening up beautifully!

Swimming starts soon, too! I was never quite an eel in the water, but I'm definitely an otter. In fact, you know those computer "aquariums"? The ones that act as screen savers? Why not one with otters? They're really fun to watch and I have yet to see someone frown after watching otters at play. Hmmm... maybe the million dollar idea for the day....

225! Back on track! And... a shot at low numbers this week! I woke up late, 5:30 a.m. (yes, the irony is not lost on me), but I hit that point where I realized.... HEY! 30 minutes is better than 0 minutes! Get up! Get running! and I did! 20 treadmill minutes, situps, crunches, then home. Everything is loose and I feel energized! and I'm 225 again! I love it! Thank goodness for AUTO PILOT some mornings. I'll get there.

So... added benefits of extra energy: CHORES! I cut the lawn last night. Arrived home from early volleyball and got the front lawn cut! Looks great - diagonal pattern! Baseball fan, I guess!

Okay... I'm outta here! 225! (48 to go!) Yahoo!

Take care! Thanks for reading!

Frank

p.s. Today, I'm feeling blessed for having understanding friends.

230.5 (53.5) and a shocking new number

2009-05-11T08:23:00.000-07:00

I have 7 siblings. One of my brothers is an excellent data collector. Dan was showing me his extensive charts on weight loss, and I learned last night that while I've been aiming for 195, the ideal "middle range" weight for 6'4" individuals is actually 177! (204 being the max, 160.? being lowest).

So... after a weekend of very sketchy journaling, and poor food choices on Sunday (grilled chicken tacos from Taco Bell), Monday started with a mind-numbing headache and a starting weight of 230.5. I managed a regular morning workout, including weights, but my intensity was lacking on the elliptical. 3.55 miles in 50 minutes.... that's about 75% of my typical effort. ..... I'm glad I was in the gym. I'll refocus for better effort tomorrow morning.

Aiming for better balance in my personal life, too. I'm so incredibly hasty when it comes to the most important things in my life, and I often regret my rash actions. I opened my silly mouth on Friday morning, and spent the next 2 days regretting my incomplete declarations. To my great surprise and relief, my friend wrote me back on Sunday. I'm blessed to be surrounded by people with better sense and a longer view. Spirit lifted, the weekend ended on a much better note than it began. Patience, careful analysis, and an open heart.

That's all I have for today. Broccoli and spinach and cucumber and chicken panini this morning. I hope you're well. Spring is here, and the weather's getting better and better.

Take care,
Frank

224 (29) How Much Sleep is Needed, Anyways?

2009-05-07T09:39:00.000-07:00

Crazy scale... it can't make up its mind.

Hopped on this morning, 223. Nice! Checked again, 223. Alright. 3rd time's the charm.... 224! hmmm... alright, one more verification....(hopped on scale after my shower).... 225!!

So... I'm happy with 224. That's a great number. I was 226 a couple of days ago, and in the 230s for the better part of March and April. 4 days of 5 a.m. workouts (with a lot of evening volleyball) and very scrupulous nutritional journaling. I'm headed back in the right direction.

Gotta journal. It's the most important step. I'm serious. If I eat it, I write it down. If I don't write it down, these "invisible calories" have a way of adding up REAL FAST. When I'm at the gym, I think to myself: "I'm here to keep my metabolism from going into 'survival only' mode." When I'm looking at a plate of veggies (instead of pizza), I think to myself: "I'm doing this to stay healthy, get strong and lean, and have the right fuel for my workouts." And when I journal about my food and exercise for the day, I say to myself: "This is tedious, but it's the lynchpin upon which my goals are tethered. What I'm writing down today is worth its weight in gold. I'm creating a source of data for support, study, refinement and reflection."

So... I was hungry last night. Stomach-crawlingly hungry. But it was 11pm. Chose a slug of Gatorade and a glass of water. Stomach quieted, went to bed. This morning... felt a lot better, but 4 days of 3+ gym miles (and 8 miles on Tuesday), my legs and arms are sore. So enter the 4th most important thing: STRETCH.

JOURNAL
NUTRITION
EXERCISE
STRETCH
(repeat daily)

lol.

It's been a good week. I'm concerned that I'm shortchanging myself on sleep, and that my evening activities will cut too deeply into the 7 hours of sleep I want. Tonight is no exception. Just have to make it to the weekend.... (later workouts on Sat/Sun, more opportunities to nap in the afternoon).

Thanks! Those are my thoughts on weight loss today. The morning's broccoli and spinach taste good, and will see me through for another hour before lunch (rice and beans and garlic salsa).

Take care! Today I'm prepared to make the right decisions.

Frank

p.s. When I see 219.... oh, I'm going to be smiling. That's a GREAT number!

226 and rolling (31) - Happy May!

2009-05-06T07:33:00.000-07:00

Hello and Good Morning!

It's May 6th, and months have passed. I've lost a pound since my last blog! And kept it off for 2 days in a row. Progress! Ahh, but you know, it's not about what we've lost so much as it's about what we've gained in the interim.

I was fortunate enough to play volleyball over New Year's Eve, spiking in the New Year, as it were. What a great way to usher in 2009! It was the wild card option for the evening, and I'm glad I took a chance.

Crazy good fortune smiled on me and 5 weeks later I was in Japan, on a 9-day whirlwind tour of Tokyo, Kyoto, Hiroshima, Miyajima and Kegon (among others). What an amazing trip! I still shake my head that there are places in the world firmly rooted both in the future and the ancient past.

Bought a new bike.... super lightweight and a huge improvement over my mountain bike of 14+ years. I feel like quicksilver on wheels, and spring has never been so welcome (in spite of constant sneezing from early allergies).

Came back from Vegas last week! Small world... saw a friend at McCarran Airport! One of my morning Bally's exercisers... funny how things go. And nice to set down roots... unexpected surprises in life. BTW, Vegas was great. This was a pure gambling trip. Craps took its toll, however, and blackjack brought me back into the money. Came back from 4 days in the dessert with a small fortune! (due to the sad fact that I arrived out there with a large fortune!)

Volleyball and exercise continue to dominate the weekdays. I'm determined to meet my primary goal (And the title of this post) with early bedtimes (9:30) and morning workouts (5am). So far so good. I recently hit 1 year of logged gym days! That's 365 workouts out of 913 days.... a workout every 2.5 days! Nice! I've maintained a 17 pound weight loss since this began at the end of July 2006. Perspective really helps, especially when there's not a lot of change in the day-to-day.

Other than that, I'm loving all the broccoli and spinach in the mornings! Good stuff (lol). What a change, and what a surprise. It's been a year since my divorce, and it's the little habits, the daily things that have saved my life. My family, my friends, perspective, prayer and broccoli have combined to get me to a healthier place. I live a charmed life.

Onwards and upwards. I've begun to speak my mind, earlier and more directly than any other time in my life. I'm still a terrible listener but there are signs of improvement. I have very few expectations but plenty of hope, and I will give back love and help and support wherever I can. It's a simple truth of the universe: Shared pain is lessened. Shared joy is increased. (and a good block in volleyball beats a solid spike any day!)

...and shared meals are great! Here are photos of yesterday's breakfast and lunch. I'm very proud of my creations! Enjoy!

Frank (Woody)

the magic number is 195 (32)

2008-12-24T13:39:00.000-08:00

Hi there! Happy Christmas Eve!

Dashing out to the store in a few minutes... a 24 hour bug has thrown off my "week before Christmas" and I've spent the last 2 days sick in bed. Thank goodness for The Dark Knight... as good as the movie is, it was the one thing that put me right to sleep! :)

So... as I recover from no appetite and gear up for one last run to the stores, I'm meditating on weight loss. There's nothing quite like 2 days of no appetite and an upset stomach to really drop a lot of liquid weight. (btw, I don't recommend this as a serious weight loss technique, but it IS a nice boost). This morning I hopped on the scale to discover I was 227, almost 8 pounds down from Monday. Yikes! I feel it, too. That non-stop rumbling? That's not winter thunder. It's my stomach.

Well, I'm going to use this as a boost. My plan is to drop these final 32 pounds in the next 6 months. That's a bit over a pound a week, but I think it's achievable. Exercise, portion control and journaling will all play a part in this. I will go one step further and keep track on this blog. I made a promise to start drawing again on these pages, and perhaps there's some common ground (sketching, and the [fun] struggle to get to a healthy weight). Time will tell.

One of the rewards for hitting 195 is going to Hawaii with my brother. I promised him a trip there, and I decided that the price of my ticket is achieving 195. I can do it, I know I can. It's just... I'd like to see that number on the scale, too.

So... starting tonight... look for new sketches. In fact, here're two quick pages, done while watching Casino Royale (and thinking about how to capture grief), and then later, walking a dog at midnight along the lakeshore.

Merry Christmas! More to come!

Woody

So Sketchy.....

2008-11-04T12:07:00.000-08:00

Hmmmm....

I promised.

things.

I promise things all the time.

That's the problem.

Like having eyes that are hungrier than my stomach, I have plans bigger than the day.

Well, a half mile is better than no mile...

So.... Good Afternoon! I hope you're well! The sun is shining, the sky is a light blue, and there's a feeling of optimism, hope and fear out there. It's Election day. New President. New administration. What better way to celebrate than by showing some of my sketches?!?

I promised my friend Pinky that I would start drawing again. I allowed myself to play Halo3 til midnight, instead. So... as a compromise, I've got my sketchbook at the ready.... and I've scanned some quick drawings from July's San Diego Comic Con! Here they are! Just thumbnails, but I LOVE drawing people. I don't have an economy of line (yet), but there are nice things at work here. If nothing else, I'm grateful to be drawing again. Like a surprise return of a long-ago friend.

Take care! Be well! and Vote!

Woody

Saturday - Great Day, Totally Exhausted

2008-11-01T20:03:00.000-07:00

Halloween Party late last night. Sarah and Catherine's first Halloween party. Big success... 15 people, all in costume, mingling and munching and making new friends.

Home and asleep by 1am.

Awake at 4am. rolled over, asleep in seconds.

Awake at 6am. rolled over and covered head with pillow.

Awake? at 8am...totally late! Supposed to be in the city picking up friends for day at Six Flags Great America.

Final weekend for Fright Fest... did I mention I love rollercoasters? 3rd weekend in a row I was at the park. Rides, hot pretzels, rides, funnel cakes, rides, and.... more rides.

Made it back into the city in 45 minutes for pizza and Dr. Who at Ben's house.

Totally exhausted. Knee feels better. I'm happy I had a day off from the gym. I hope all the walking counts as a low impact cardio workout.

Alright... take care. Thanks for reading. I PROMISE more interesting posts to come, including NEW ARTWORK. :)

Happy All Soul's Day! Nice to think of all those souls, watching over us...?

Penultimate All Hallow's Eve

2008-10-30T08:10:00.000-07:00

I THINK I've got that right... Halloween being All Hallow's Eve, and so today, the day before Halloween is ACTUALLY the penultimate All Hallow's Eve. And yesterday was the ante-penultimate All Hallow's Eve.

sigh... this is how my brain works. License plates, too. I study the numbers, flip them, add them, look for symmetry and then scramble. Kind of like a screen saver for my brain as I'm driving. I don't know if it's a waste of time or a useful activity, like Brain Age on the Nintendo DS. hmmm..... time will tell! (an oft-repeated and not appreciated turn of phrase I like).

By the way, how are you this morning? Forgive me for not asking earlier. Did you sleep well? Is your costume ready? This is such a great time of year... we're about to roll into that perfect trifecta.... Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas!

So... another early morning. I skated by on my good looks and clean living! Asleep by midnight, and up by 4:30. MUCH more of a struggle today over yesterday. If I'm going to make this lifestyle change, I need to heed Richard's good advice: "asleep by 8pm" (Richard being one of the Bally's regulars who has ALWAYS been at the gym by 5:15). I struggle with the concept of an early bedtime (too many fun things to do at the end of a day), but it was very easy to wake up on Wednesday with nearly 7 hours sleep.

Christmas is fast approaching, and with it, I'm considering presents. Money is tighter this go around. I'd like to spend an afternoon with music, a notebook, and no other distractions as I meditate on it. I have good ideas, they're just lurking below the surface right now.

No dreams last night. Untroubled (4-1/2 hours of) sleep. My right knee feels a little tender, so I'm alternating exercises and am keeping a knee brace handy. I will not give up exercise for these new aches and pains.

Take care! Enjoy the Hallow's Eve Eve! Practice your phrasing of "trick or treat"... it'd be embarrassing to mess it up... "Treat Trick Or," or some such nonsense... :)

Wednesday challenge

2008-10-29T07:09:00.000-07:00

Good morning!

ahhh, to sleep like an old man. Lights were out by 9:30 last night.

Dreamt about work, and divorce. I wish I could have had a flying dream instead. Those are great! For me, it's very low to the ground, at high speeds, zipping around in the trees. hmmm, this has been a year for a lot of sad, reunion-type dreams. Perhaps the new year will offer more dream types.

Quick summary: woke up wide awake at 4am, at the gym and on an elliptical by 5:10, home by 6:30, showered and out the door by 7. I felt very organized, for a change.

Okay.... back to it! Take care, thanks for reading! Volleyball and working out and a last minute scramble for the final piece to my Halloween costume tonight.

Getting a Haircut - It's a Bet

2008-10-28T17:48:00.000-07:00

Alright... it's a bet... I need a very light haircut.... just a quick trim... little fuzzies on the back of my neck. So a coworker is going to help me out. Only problem is that I promised to be at the office at 7:45 tomorrow morning. And I've been 15-30 minutes late to work for the past 2 days!

So... it's 8pm. If all goes well I'll be asleep by 9, up by 4, gym by 5, work by 7:30.

hmmmm.... we'll see. I seem to do better when it's a bet, a challenge.

So... the reward for an early lights out is good rest, a morning workout, and a dapper appearance.

Good night! Until next time.

Tuesday - forecast cloudy

2008-10-28T08:52:00.000-07:00

Good morning.

The sky is clear, but I'm intrigued by the idea of a coming storm. October is such an interesting month... potluck weather and a closet as chaotic as my mind. I've been on a precipice between ho-hum and testing myself for some months now. It's time to step forward.

What to do now?